Replacement Teachers?
by tenshi-no-akuma-81
Summary: Things in Hogwarts take an unexpected turn as the Hogwarts teachers are replaced with 12 ninjas. Meanwhile Snape is cursing the heat and the flies in the Fire Country. And here Harry thought his previous teachers were a handful.
1. The Strangeness Begins

**Hey guys, I'm back with my new story. This will be set in the Goblet of Fire. This has nothing to do with the poll I set up a week or so back. Just some random plot bunnies that were racing through my head. For those who actually care, I will still be continuing my other stories.**

**Also so far I have Sakura down for Potions, Neji for Divination, Rock Lee for Physical Education- a new subject I added, Kiba and Naruto down for Care of Magical Creatures, Sasuke down for DADA assistant and Ino down for History of Magic.**

**The remaining ninjas are: Hinata, Tenten, Chouji, Shikamaru and Shino.**

**I need the following: **

**Herbology Teacher:**

**Astronomy Teacher:**

**Muggle Studies Teacher:**

**Arithmancy Teacher:**

**Ancient Runes Teacher:**

**Please post your suggestions in a review. The ninja can only teach subjects that don't require spell casting so that's why there is such a restriction on the amounts of subjects they can teach.**

**If you're wondering where the replaced teachers went, they're all on a vacation in the Fire country. Quite happy they are I'm sure, well maybe not Snape.**

**Text: **

English

_Japanese/Other foreign languages/Written text_

'Speech'

The Strangeness Begins

Did you read the Author's Note? If not then read it! It's important!

Through the gates, flanked with statues of winged boars, and up the sweeping drive the carriages trundled, swaying dangerously in what was fast becoming a gale. Leaning against the window, Harry could see Hogwarts coming nearer, its many lighted windows blurred and shimmering behind the thick curtain of rain. Lightning flashed across the sky as their carriage came to a halt before the great oak front doors, which stood at the top of a flight of stone steps.

People who had occupied the carriages in front were already hurrying up the stone steps into the castle. Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Neville jumped down from their carriage and dashed up the steps too, looking up only when they were safely inside the cavernous, torch-lit entrance hall, with its magnificent marble staircase. 'Blimey,' said Ron, shaking his head and sending water everywhere, 'if that keeps up the lake's going to overflow. I'm soak-ARRGH!'A large, red, water-filled balloon had dropped from out of the ceiling onto Ron's head and exploded. Drenched and sputtering, Ron staggered sideways into Harry, just as a second water bomb dropped-narrowly missing Hermione, it burst at Harry's feet, sending a wave of cold water over his sneakers into his socks. People all around them shrieked and started pushing one another in their efforts to get out of the line of fire. Harry looked up and saw, floating twenty feet above them, Peeves the Poltergeist, a little man in a bell-covered hat and orange bow tie, his wide, malicious face contorted with concentration as he took aim again.

'PEEVES!' yelled an angry voice. 'Peeves, come down here at ONCE!' Professor McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress and head of Gryffindor House, had come dashing out of the Great Hall; she skidded on the wet floor and grabbed Hermione around the neck to stop herself from falling. 'Ouch-sorry, Miss Granger-.'

'That's all right, Professor!' Hermione gasped, massaging her throat. 'Peeves, get down here NOW!' barked Professor McGonagall, straightening her pointed hat and glaring upward through her square-rimmed spectacles.

'Not doing nothing!' cackled Peeves, lobbing a water bomb at several fifth-year girls, who screamed and dived into the Great Hall. 'Already wet, aren't they? Little squirts! Wheeeeeeeeee!' And he aimed another bomb at a group of second year girls who had just arrived.

The bomb never reached its target as a boy, not much older than Harry himself stepped out of nowhere, (had he apparated? But that was impossible inside Hogwarts), and caught the balloon easily. Applying a little pressure into his fist, the boy popped the bomb, water trickling down his fingers. 'Terrorizing the students already, Peeves?' he said, his voice hinted with a foreign accent but aside from that his English was almost near perfect… not mention that it sent shivers down Harry's spine that had nothing to do with the rain. The students took the chance to duck into the doorway without being bombarded by water bombs as the rather intimidating foreigner distracted the poltergeist.

Professor McGonagall sighed in relief, 'I leave you to handle this, Professor Uchiha,' she said and more than happily followed the students into the Hall away from the icy rain. Professor? Harry thought and saw similar looks of confusion on the faces of surrounding students. That boy was a teacher? If he had not been dressed in what the wizards deemed as Muggle clothing, Harry would've mistaken him for a student. He looked barely old enough to be in sixth year yet to their great surprise, Peeves immediately hushed up looking frightened.

'D-Didn't see you there, s-sir,' he said and his grin was replaced by a sheepish look of respect. The boy now dubbed as Professor Uchiha continued to glare at him with stony onyx eyes.

'Peeves,' he said coldly as Harry neared the doorway where everyone was now pushing through, eager to be out of the range of the sadistic rain clouds that continued to pour out its watery contents, 'have you forgotten what happened this afternoon? We don't want to repeat that do we?'

'N-No, sir,' Peeves said quickly, already backing away from the door, 'of c-course not, sir.' Harry thought he saw the new professor shoot him a look as he passed through the door but the next second his eyes were fixed once more on the poltergeist.

'Then I suggest you leave and do something useful for once,' the boy said coolly before once again vanishing into thin air. Peeves immediately zoomed to the opposite side of the Hall and disappeared through the wall. Harry blinked at the spot the professor had vanished but did not look long as he was shoved into the Great Hall by the crowd.

They pushed their sopping hair out of their faces, Ron had a stupid look of awe on his face as they seated themselves at the Gryffindor table located on the furthest left of the hall. Just then, a highly excited, breathless voice called down the table. 'Hiya, Harry!' It was Colin Creevey, a third year to whom Harry was something of a hero.

'Hi, Colin,' said Harry warily.

'Harry, guess what? Guess what, Harry? My brother's starting! My brother Dennis!'

'Err-good,' said Harry uncertainly.

'He's really excited!' said Colin, practically bouncing up and down in his seat. 'I just hope he's in Gryffindor! Keep your fingers crossed, eh, Harry?'

'Err-yeah, all right,' said Harry.

'Hey, Harry,' Fred and George had approached the table and sat themselves next to Harry, both of them with huge grins on their faces, 'Have you guys met the new professor?' George asked.

'Bloody amazing, he is,' Fred said, his eyes glistening in awe

'That incident with Peeves,' George said, hands clasped together in respect, 'though he is a bit on the short side.'

'You mean the boy who was at the Entrance?' Parvati asked, 'he's really good looking,' she turned to Lavender and the two began whispering quietly and giggling. Harry and Ron both rolled their eyes.

'I think he's scary,' Neville said timidly and Harry secretly agreed. He looked up at the Staff table and was surprised to see that most of the chairs were empty, Hagrid he knew was still fighting his way across the lake with the first years and McGonagall was presumably supervising the drying of the Great Hall, a few teachers he recognized but never learnt the names of remained from the old crowd but other then that the Staff table was pretty much deserted. To his relief, Dumbledore still sat in the centre of the table, his fingers interlocked and was observing the bedraggled students serenely.

'Oh, hurry up,' Ron groaned, his stomach rumbling, 'I'm hungry enough to eat a Hippogriff.' No sooner had the words left his mouth, the door opened with a loud creak and Professor McGonagall walked in followed by a long line of rain soaked first years.

If Harry, Ron, and Hermione were wet, it was nothing to how these first years looked. They appeared to have swum across the lake rather than sailed. All of them were shivering with a combination of cold and nerves as they filed along the staff table and came to a halt in a line facing the rest of the school-all of them except the smallest of the lot, a boy with mousy hair, who was wrapped in a giant towel. His small face protruded from over the white fabric, looking almost painfully excited. When he had lined up with his terrified-looking peers, he caught Colin Creevey's eye, gave a double thumbs-up, and mouthed, I fell in the lake! He looked positively delighted about it.

Professor McGonagall now placed a three-legged stool on the ground before the first years and, on top of it, an extremely old, dirty patched wizard's hat. The first years stared at it. So did everyone else. For a moment, there was silence. Then a long tear near the brim opened wide like a mouth, and the hat broke into song.

Backstage, Sasuke rejoined the group of ninjas looking slightly grumpy though his body was almost completely dry. Tiny wisps of steam surrounded him as the chakra he forced to his skin caused the water to evaporate. 'I can't believe we have teach these brats,' he said venomously.

'_Come, now Sasuke_,' the blonde of the group said cheerfully, '_with that sort of attitude, you'll never become a jounin instructor!_'

'_Quiet down, Naruto_,' Sakura said, frowning threateningly, '_we don't want you to make so much noise that the students will hear us. Remember we're not supposed to reveal ourselves until Dumbledore-san says so._'

Kiba brushed aside the curtain a centimeter and his eyes widened in shock, '_Is that hat singing?_'

'_Whoa! Let me see!_' Naruto said eagerly, hurrying over to the curtain and shoving Kiba aside. '_Oh my God, you're right!_'

'_I said, be quiet, Naruto_,' Sakura hissed, bonking the blonde on the head. Hinata giggled nervously before the stage fell into silence as the Sorting began.

After the last first year, Kevin Whitbey had been sorted into Hufflepuff, Dumbledore stood up once more, 'Now that everyone has settled down… welcome to another year at Hogwarts! Now before we dig in to this spectacular feast- ('what feast?' Chouji asked, 'there's no food.') I have a few special announcements to make,' Ron slumped into his seat in disappointment. 'As you can see, there is a few of our staff missing this year,' Dumbledore continued, 'the reason behind this is because an old friend of mine specially requested that some of her students to be sent to Hogwarts for teaching experience before they are graduated to Professors on their own.' He raised his right arm and the twelve shinobi recognized the signal and body flickered to the front of the Hall just in front of the staff table.

The students gasped as twelve figures appeared out of nowhere. 'Did you see that?' Ron said, amazed, 'I just blinked and they were suddenly there!' Harry shook his head in wonder.

'Did they apparate?' a Hufflepuff girl muttered to her friends. Hermione frowned.

'Hogwarts a History states-.'

'That you cannot apparate or disapparate in and out of Hogwarts, I know,' Ron said, not looking at her, 'you've said that a billion times already.' Hermione frowned but did not reply.

'I would introduce them, but since you would probably forget there names at the current situation,' Dumbledore said warmly, and a few students chuckled. A few of the ninjas raised eyebrows, Sasuke and Neji frowned. 'So I will leave that up to them when you attend their classes…tuck in!'

Immediately food appeared on the tables and Ron sighed gratefully. The ninjas widened their eyes in surprise but otherwise kept their cool except for Naruto, Kiba and Chouji who immediately leapt for the food.

'_They've got ramen!_' Naruto cried, tears of happiness leaking out of his eyes as he seized a pair of chopsticks and held the bowl as if it was some sort of precious treasure. His fellow ninjas sighed at his childishness but decided not to crush Naruto's happiness on their first night at Hogwarts and seated themselves, cautiously piling food they thought looked familiar onto their plates. All except for Rock Lee who was all out and enthusiastic about trying the foreign food and had his mouth stuffed with a strange looking lump of dough called Yorkshire pudding. Kiba stuffed four large steaks into a paper bag for Akamaru who was unfortunately not allowed in the Great Hall because Professor McGonagall had deemed in unhygienic. He had argued with her for an hour that Akamaru was clean and carried no diseases but eventually gave up.

'Are you sure they're teachers?' Ron said, watching incredulously as three of the 'professors' basically leapt over the table and stuffed their faces happily.

'Who cares, I'm just glad that Snape's getting replaced,' Harry said, cutting up his sausages happily.

'Yeah, but Hagrid's gone too,' Ron said looking disappointed.

Nearly Headless Nick watched mournfully as Harry, Ron and Hermione began to dig into their food.

'You're lucky we even have a feast at all today,' he said, 'there was trouble in the kitchens earlier.'

'Why?' Harry asked, his mouth full of sausage, 'wha' 'appened?'

'Peeves of course,' Nearly Headless Nick said, shaking his head which wobbled dangerously, he pulled his ruff a little higher up his neck. 'The usual argument, you know? He wants to attend the feast- well, it's quite out of the question. You know how he is, totally uncivilized… can't see a plate of food without throwing it.'

'Yeah, we figured that Peeves seemed somewhat hacked off,' Ron said darkly, 'so what was he doing in the kitchens anyway?'

'Oh, the usual,' Nick shrugged, 'wrecking havoc and mayhem. Pots and pans everywhere until one of the new professors, the one with the dark look,' he indicated Sasuke who looked up with a raised eyebrow as if he could hear what they were saying, 'I don't know what he did or how he did it, he accomplished the impossible. He stopped Peeves. All he did was look him in the eye and suddenly he was begging on the floor for forgiveness. He even made Peeves help the house elves clean up the me-.'

There was a clang as Hermione knocked over her goblet of pumpkin juice, spreading an orange stain onto the white linen however she paid no attention to it. 'There are house elves here?' she said, staring horrorstruck at Nearly Headless Nick, 'at Hogwarts?'

'Of course,' Nick replied, surprised by her reaction, 'largest dwelling in Britain, I believe. Over a hundred.'

'I've never seen one!' Hermione exclaimed.

'Well they hardly leave the kitchen during the day,' Nick said, 'usually come out at night to do a bit of cleaning, tend to the fires, I mean they're not supposed to be seen are they? That's the mark of a good house elf-.'

Hermione stared at him, 'But they get paid?' Hermione asked, 'they get sick leaves and holidays and pensions and everything.' Nick chortled so much that his head fell off and dangled on a piece of ghostly skin and muscle.

'Sick leave and pensions?' he said, securing his head back onto his neck, 'house elves don't want sick leaves and pensions!' Hermione glanced down at her hardly touched food and pushed her plate aside.

'Oh c'mon, 'Er-my-knee,' said Ron, accidentally spraying Harry with bits of Yorkshire pudding. 'Oops-sorry, 'Arry-,' He swallowed. 'You won't get them sick leave by starving yourself!'

'Slave labor,' said Hermione, breathing hard through her nose. 'That's what made this dinner. Slave labor.' And she refused to eat another bite. The rain was still drumming heavily against the high, dark glass. Another clap of thunder shook the windows, and the stormy ceiling flashed, illuminating the golden plates as the remains of the first course vanished and were replaced, instantly, with puddings.

'Treacle tart, Hermione!' said Ron, deliberately wafting its smell toward her. 'Spotted dick, look! Chocolate gateau!' But Hermione gave him a look so reminiscent of Professor McGonagall that he gave up.

'_Urg, this British food is very filling_,' Ino groaned, she had eaten the least of the group and was currently rubbing her stomach.

'_It is very delicious_,' Hinata said politely but even she didn't finish the first course.

'_Yes I admit it does taste very good_,' Neji said which surprised them '_that pudding over there is basically made of sugar. No wonder everyone's so fat._'

Only Naruto and Chouji proceeded onto the desserts and after the dinner, even Chouji was so full he couldn't eat another bite.

'So!' said Dumbledore, smiling around at them all. "Now that we are all fed and watered,' ('Hmph!' said Hermione) 'I must once more ask for your attention, while I give out a few notices. Mr. Filch, the caretaker, has asked me to tell you that the list of objects forbidden inside the castle has this year been extended to include Screaming Yo-yos, Fanged Frisbees, and Ever-Bashing Boomerangs. The full list comprises some four hundred and thirty-seven items, I believe, and can be viewed in Mr. Filch's office, if anybody would like to check it.' The corners of Dumbledore's mouth twitched. Sakura frowned as Naruto's eyes widened in excitement at every item that was mentioned. He continued, 'As ever, I would like to remind you all that the forest on the grounds is out-of-bounds to students, as is the village of Hogsmede to all below third year.'

'_The Forbidden Forest isn't that dangerous_,' Kiba muttered.

'It is also my painful duty to inform you that the Inter-House Quidditch Cup will not take place this year.'

'What?' Harry gasped. He looked around at Fred and George, his fellow members of the Quidditch team. They were mouthing soundlessly at Dumbledore, apparently too appalled to speak.

Dumbledore went on, 'This is due to an event that will be starting in October, and continuing throughout the school year, taking up much of the teachers' time and energy-but I am sure you will all enjoy it immensely. I have great pleasure in announcing that this year at Hogwarts-,' but at that moment, there was a deafening rumble of thunder and the doors of the Great Hall banged open. A man stood in the doorway, leaning upon a long staff, shrouded in a black traveling cloak. Every head in the Great Hall swiveled toward the stranger, suddenly brightly illuminated by a fork of lightning that flashed across the ceiling. He lowered his hood, shook out a long mane of grizzled, dark gray hair, then began to walk up toward the teachers' table. A dull clunk echoed through the Hall on his every other step. He reached the end of the top table, turned right, and limped heavily toward Dumbledore. Another flash of lightning crossed the ceiling.

Hermione gasped. The lightning had thrown the man's face into sharp relief, and it was a face unlike any Harry had ever seen. It looked as though it had been carved out of weathered wood by someone who had only the vaguest idea of what human faces are supposed to look like, and was none too skilled with a chisel. Every inch of skin seemed to be scarred. The mouth looked like a diagonal gash, and a large chunk of the nose was missing. But it was the man's eyes that made him frightening. One of them was small, dark, and beady. The other was large, round as a coin, and a vivid, electric blue. The blue eye was moving ceaselessly, without blinking, and was rolling up, down, and from side to side, quite independently of the normal eye-and then it rolled right over, pointing into the back of the man's head, so that all they could see was whiteness. The stranger reached Dumbledore. He stretched out a hand that was as badly scarred as his face, and Dumbledore shook it, muttering words Harry couldn't hear.

The ninjas couldn't help but be intrigued by the man. Sure they'd seen men in worse shape but the man seemed to carry an air of experience with pain. Probably just as much as a ninja, this was a first since they had entered the peaceful and sheltered wizarding world. The blue eye swiveled around to survey the students before settling on the new teachers. It remained for a few seconds longer, observing them. A few of them frowned, feeling insecure of being watched so closely.

'Our new Defence Against the Dark Arts Teacher,' Dumbledore said cheerfully, 'Professor Moody.'

It was usual for a new staff member to be greeted with applause when introduced but today neither the staff nor the students clapped. Some of the new teachers, a pretty girl with long navy blue hair and weird white eyes and a girl with short bubblegum pink hair clapped alongside politely with Dumbledore whilst the others just put their hands together once or twice unenthusiastically. Everyone else seemed too transfixed by the man's appearance to do much more than stare at him.

'As I was saying,' he said, smiling at the sea of students before him, all of whom were still gazing transfixed at Mad-Eye Moody, 'we are to have the honor of hosting a very exciting event over the coming months, an event that has not been held for over a century. It is my very great pleasure to inform you that the Triwizard Tournament will be taking place at Hogwarts this year.'

'You're joking!' Fred said loudly. The tension that had occurred since Mad Eye Moody's arrival was immediately as the Hall broke into laughter. Dumbledore chuckled appreciatively.

'No, I am not joking, Mr. Weasley,' he said, 'but now that you mentioned it, I did hear an excellent one over the summer about a troll, a hag and a leprechaun-.' Professor McGonagall cleared her throat loudly. 'But perhaps this is not the time… no… now where was I? Oh yes the Triwizard Tournament.'

'_He doesn't seem to take things very seriously_,' Neji observed the old man thoughtfully.

They listened as Dumbledore continued to explain the history of the tournament. '_What sort of school names are Beutbachens and Dung-Strap_?' Naruto questioned.

'_It's Beauxbatons and Durmstrang!_' Sakura corrected, though she had to agree. I mean who in the right mind would name a school after a pig's skin condition?

'_You know this kind of sounds like a very toned down version of the Chunnin exams_,' Sasuke commented, staring around at the Hall of excited students that were whispering amongst themselves. But it nevertheless caught his interest at the mention of a death toll.

'_Yeah, but who would hold such a troublesome tournament just for fun?_' Shikamaru yawned. He couldn't wait for the speech to be over so that he could finally go to bed. He reached up and popped his neck which earned a disgusted look from Professor McGonagall.

'Eager though I know all of you will be to bring the Triwizard Cup to Hogwarts,' he said, 'the heads of the participating schools, along with the Ministry of Magic, have agreed to impose an age restriction on contenders this year. Only students who are of age-that is to say, seventeen years or older-will be allowed to put forward their names for consideration. This-,' he raised his voice as several people cried out in outrage, 'is a measure we find necessary given that the tournament tasks are difficult and dangerous and it is highly likely that students below sixth and seventh year would be able to cope with it. I, myself will be personally ensuring that that no underage student hoodwinks our impartial judge into making them Hogwarts champion,' his eyes twinkled for a moment on the mutinous faces of Fred and George, 'I therefore beg you not to waste your time attempting to enter if you are below the age of seventeen.

'Now before you all go off to bed,' Dumbledore added, 'in the absence of Professors Snape and Sprout, Slytherin and Hufflepuff hose will have temporary Heads of Houses. The new head of Slytherin is Professor Uchiha,' Dumbledore gestured towards the dark haired man who they had previously seen at the Entrance. He stood, gave a curt nod and sat down looking completely disinterested as a few girls from the Slytherin table squealed. 'And the new head of Hufflepuff is Professor Uzumaki,' a cheerful looking boy with blond hair and tanned skin stood up and waved enthusiastically at them.

'Hey, I'm Naruto Uzumaki-_ dattebayo_!' he said enthusiastically. Harry couldn't help but notice their contrasting personalities.

'Well now that I have no more to say, it is getting late and I know how important it is to be alert and rested for your lessons tomorrow morning. Bedtime, chop, chop,' with that Dumbledore sat down and began to talk with the other teachers.

There was a lot of shuffling and scraping as the students stood up, eager to go to bed after the long journey and large feast. Fred and George however remained behind. 'You can't do this to us,' they yelled. 'We're turning 17 in April!' Dumbledore chucked warmly.

'Oh, who cares, George,' Fred grumbled, 'we're going to enter anyway.' The twins didn't intend for the last part to be heard but the ninjas with their advanced hearing definitely caught it.

'Should we stop them Dumbledore-san?' Neji asked.

'I have it all under control,' Dumbledore replied brightly, 'you twelve should probably head up and prepare for your lessons tomorrow.

**Bad? Good? Please leave me your comments in a review! I won't get very far without you reviewers remember?**


	2. CoMC with Professor Inuzuka

**OK, sorry for the long update guys! I really hope this makes up for it. I've been really busy recently. Also I have very little access to the computer so updates will be slow. I'm really grateful for the 35 reviews I got and only for one chapter too! Your support's really making my eyes tear up. Please continue to review this story. I'll be starting on "Paper Dolls" right after I finish this chapter and thank you again. I've posted the list of teachers and I've made a few changes to my original list. **

**Naruto: Magical Sports (Quidditch)**

**Sasuke: DADA Assistant**

**Sakura: Potions**

**Chouji: Muggle Studies (Food Based mostly)**

**Shikamaru: Astronomy**

**Ino: Herbology**

**Kiba: Care of Magical Creatures**

**Shino: Ancient Runes**

**Hinata: Arithmancy**

**Lee: Physical Education (Muggle Sports)**

**Neji: Divination**

**Tenten: History of Magic**

**If you are unhappy with my choice of teachers, then feel free to complain in a review or PM but this is my final decision and it is unlikely that you'll change my mind unless you have a really good reason. I hope that most of you will agree with my choice. I worked hard to consider all your suggestions and I put together the one's that I thought fitted the best. **

**Putting that aside, there will be no romance in the story so don't pester me to write pairings. **

English

_Japanese/Foreign Language/Written Text_

'Speech'

Care of Magical Creatures with Professor Inuzuka

'_What are you doing_?' Sakura asked, her famous large forehead was screwed up into a frown.

'_Experiments_,' Kiba replied, not looking up. '_I'm trying to get these Blast Ended Skrewts to grow faster_.' Sakura looked over his shoulder and noticed for the first time a large crate of slimy, shell-less scorpion like creatures crawling and slithering over each other and gave a shriek of disgust.

'_G-Get those-those _things_ off the kitchen table_!' she screeched but it was too late, Kiba had already bent over and flicked a small, round black pill into what appeared to be the mouth of one of the creatures.

There was a pause before the scorpion opened its mouth again. However it did not spit out the food pill like Kiba had expected. Instead the Skrewt's "round circles" that Kiba guessed were eyes, bulged and the pale flesh expanded underneath the creature's delicate skin. Then without warning, the Skrewt exploded, quite literally, spraying globs of sticky black goo everywhere. Kiba and Sakura managed to get out of the line of fire with their ninja reflexes as the Skrewt's blood splattered the table, floor, walls, furniture and even the ceiling.

A strong stench of rotting, month-old fish drifted from the black slime and Kiba collapsed on the floor, holding his nose. '_Oh my god, that's even worse than Naruto's farts_!' He hastily drained all chakra from his nose so that his sense of smell was dulled to the level of a civilian, making the stench somewhat bearable but still unpleasant.

There was a silence in which Sakura stared at the mess, her pink fringe casting intimidating shadows over her face and hiding her eyes. She shook all over with, no doubt, fury and her fist had tightened, showing bone-white knuckles. Kiba gulped, ready to experience the pain of a chakra-enhanced punch however he was saved from the wrath of Sakura with the arrival of a second kunoichi, Hinata. '_Oh dear, what happened to the kitchen_?'

Hinata was dressed in her day clothing with her long, shiny hair brushed back neatly. She looked as if she had just stepped out of the shower rather than climbed out sleepily from a comfortable bed. She surveyed the scene with a sense of calm and patience that contrasted against Sakura's fury and anger.

But before Sakura could open her mouth, they were interrupted by the arrival of another individual by the name of Naruto Uzumaki. Unlike Hinata, Naruto looked as if he'd been dragged backwards through thirty hedges and then dumped into a swimming pool in his pajamas. His blonde hair stuck up even more than usual and he glanced at the scene with indifference, his mouth wide open in a yawn. 'Whoa. You completely destroyed it.' However with the mouth open, Naruto took a rather unfortunate amount of the Skrewt's stench into his lungs and it resulted in him collapsing on the floor and hacking up half of his saliva.

'_EWW! What is that smell? Kiba! I thought you said that Akamaru was trained_!' Naruto yelled, '_How did he stall so much poop in his body and why is it on the ceiling? Must be all the foreign food, I thought my stomach felt a little funny this morning!_'

'_It's_ _got nothing to do with Akamaru! Don't go jumping to conclusions_!' Kiba said angrily, '_besides, I'm more worried for the bathroom about _your_ stomach_!'

'_Shut up_!' Sakura said, her fist colliding with the top of Kiba's head. Kiba thought himself as lucky that her hand had not been enhanced with chakra otherwise she would've done a lot more damage than just a cracked skull… a shattered one more like. 'How are we going to eat breakfast like this?'

'_We could always go down to the Great Hall_,' Hinata suggested, '_Dumbledore-san said that we could go down there and join him for breakfast whenever we wish._'

'_Breakfast_?' Naruto said blankly, his eyes unfocused. Then something clicked into place in the blonde's mind and he gave a small shriek and dashed towards the slimed up kitchen, '_my ramen! I kept my ramen in there! Oh, please tell me my ramen isn't hurt? Where are you my babies, Daddy's coming_!'

Naruto's scream of horror awoke the few remaining shinobi that had not yet been aroused by the commotion in the kitchen. Sasuke stomped into the kitchen looking more murderous than Gaara on a killing rampage. He, like Hinata was fully dressed, his dark hair was already gelled and combed into place although there was definitely an outline of purple underneath his narrowed onyx eyes. '_It's too early in the morning for all this nonsense_,' he said in a deathly calm voice that suggested a lot of suppressed violence. In a way, Sasuke was a lot like a dragon. Perfectly harmless when asleep but when you're stupid enough to walk right up to it and scream in its ear then you'd better start running alongside with those squirrels and birdies that are escaping to a 500 mile radius. The fact that he was forced to share a room with Naruto of all people didn't really help either and that boy goes beyond a lot further than just sleep walking.

Sakura, Kiba and Hinata shivered and Naruto would've been quite intimidated had he not been mourning the loss of his vanquished instant ramen which he was clutching tightly in both his hands, each box coated with a healthy layer of black goo.

'_Calm down, Sasuke_,' Shikamaru said, having finally entered the scene. He was dressed quite sloppily, along the same lines as Naruto, although a lot neater and looked as if he'd rather be back in the bed he just climbed out of. '_We'll get some of the house elves to clean up the mess. It's so handy to have them around to do all the troublesome chores otherwise you'd be wiping goo manually off that kitchen table right now, like the good old D-rank missions. Don't ever let me catch you doing those troublesome experiments in the kitchen again; it's so tiresome to shushin all the way down to the Great Hall for breakfast every day_.'

It took several more minutes for the remaining ninja to enter the scenario, all of them surveying the scene with little to no surprise. They were ninjas after all and waking up to see your whole kitchen coated with bug guts was considered perfectly normal compared to most of the mind-racking things they've seen. They headed down to the Great Hall- not in a group of course. It would be extremely uncool and un-teacher-like to move in such a large pack like first year students. Instead they split into groups of three and body-flickered into the hall.

Ron Weasely gave a small yelp of surprise when a pair of legs came crashing down onto a plate of kippers he'd been reaching for. Across the Hall, there were similar yells and shrieks as the twelve ninja appeared out of thin air. 'B-Bloody Hell!'

Kiba's head whirled around in surprise as if confused his surroundings, 'Where am I?' he said to no one in particular.

'T-The Great Hall,' Hermione gasped, clutching her chest.

The teacher's face relaxed into an expression of relief as he recognized the four long, wooden tables crowded with previously noisy, chatty students however the rather abrupt appearance of the new professors seemed to have rendered them silent. 'Oh, right,' Kiba said, '_at least I got the right location this time. Now all I've got to work on is positioning_,' he stared down at the awed faces of the Gryffindors, some of them had their eyes narrowed in concentration as if listening harder would decipher the stream of Japanese works coming out of his mouth. 'Sorry for disturbing your breakfast,' Kiba said before flashing them a dazzling grin and leaping off the table and made his way up to the staff table to join his fellows, leaving a trail of oily fish bits in his wake.

There was silence then-

'You know, now that I can see him close up, that teacher's pretty good looking too,' Lavender giggled and turned around to whisper with Parvati.

Harry buried his face in his new timetable in an unsuccessful attempt to drown out the sounds of the giggling girls.

Care of Magical Creatures had never been one of Harry's favourite subjects- it was something that he often felt guilty about due to the fact that the subject was taught by one of Harry's first friends in the wizarding world, the large man, Hagrid who was extremely sensitive despite his intimidating size. But with Hagrid gone, Harry felt hopeful that he would finally get a proper taste in the subject, a thought that only made his guilt increase uneasily.

The new teachers intrigued Harry to the very least. They each had their own style, varying in different levels of strangeness although he couldn't help but see, if only a teensy bit why people found them attractive. Each one of them seemed to emit a thin air of… something, like magic yet it was not the same visible shimmer he saw in Veela.

'I wonder who we'll get,' Ron said as they headed down the familiar path to Hagrid's hut. Small droplets of rain from the previous night's storm dripped steadily from the trees above like tiny grenades. When they finally rounded the corner, instead of being greeted with the familiar friendly, bearded face of Hagrid or any other person in all that matter, sitting outside the doorstep of the hut was the largest dog Harry had ever seen.

The dog was pure white and fluffy enough to make a fine rug, (although Harry wasn't getting any ideas of that sort) and the size of a small pony. Its eyes were half hidden by a thick curtain of white fur and it gave a loud, friendly bark when it spotted the small group of Gryffindors, some of whom were backing away nervously.

Harry, Ron and Hermione approached it tentatively and the dog gave Harry a very sloppy lick on the hand. The dog reminded Harry somewhat of Fang who was a lot friendlier than he first appeared and eventually the remaining Gryffindors crept forward to stroke its fur. It seemed to like the attention and responded enthusiastically by slopping saliva over their sleeves.

'Oh, I see, you've already met Akamaru,' a voice said behind them caused the students to whirl around. A boy around the same age as the teacher yesterday was crouched on the rooftop of Hagrid's hut. Harry recognized the fanged grin and messy hair as the boy who had appeared on the Gryffindor table at breakfast. When he had arrived and how he'd gotten up on the hut was beyond them and Harry felt the strands of fur slip from his fingers as the dog bounded towards who was obviously its owner.

The teacher wore a black leather jacket that Harry supposed was expensive and black pants that didn't quite reach his ankles. Overall, he rather resembled a muggle more than a wizard and would've easily passed for one had there not been minor adjustments to his attire such as the metal plate attached to a black cloth tied like a headband on his forehead and the small beige coloured pouch strapped to his right leg with a roll of white bandages. A mop of brown hair sat on his head which, unlike Harry's which was only particularly stubborn at the back, his stood up in all directions.

The teacher strongly resembled a dog, probably almost as much as his own pet. Perhaps it was his thin pupils that resembled upside down triangles or the way the canines in his jaw were longer and sharper than usual. He looked quite wild and even slightly crazy and had he not been dressed in the clothes of a civilized person, Harry would've easily mistaken him for a feral child, someone raised by animals since birth.

'Good morning, brats!' he said in a voice so loud that a few people that stood closer backed off a few steps, 'where is everyone? I was told that there would at least be 40 students?'

'The Slytherins haven't arrived yet, sir,' Dean replied a little uncertainly.

'Damn brats, they're late,' the teacher growled, sounding very much like an old dog bothered by flies, 'I'm going to dock their points dry.'

Ron turned towards Harry and Hermione, a broad grin on his face, 'I like him already,' he whispered.

'You only like him because he's taking points off the Slytherins,' Hermione said, shaking her head.

When the Slytherins did arrive, which wasn't until five minutes later; Harry's favourite student in the whole of Hogwarts, (Note the Sarcasm), Draco Malfoy stood at the front, leading the small pack of cronies towards the hut. They were chatting quite freely as if they weren't just ten minutes late and when they were within a few metres of the hut, Malfoy leaned in, muttering something to the Slytherins while staring quite pointedly at the new teacher. Harry strained his ears but could not catch a word that was said and he doubted that any of the students did.

Kiba frowned, he doubted that the blonde brat had intended for him to hear the insult that he whispered but the students knew nothing of the ninjas' extensive hearing. He plastered a very false smile on his face, 'Why are you late?'

'My stomach hurting, _sir_,' Malfoy drawled, putting a lot of unnecessary emphasis on the "sir", 'I had to go up to Madam Pomfrey to get it checked out.'

Kiba nodded understandingly, the foreign food had caused quite an uproar for himself last night too. He was just about to let the boy off when something stuck him-

What if he was lying?

For the first time in his life, Kiba truly understood how frustrating it was trying to work out whether someone was lying to you or not. He even understood why Iruka gave such long-ass lectures and why his mom would shove him inside the dog's sick bay bathroom whenever he so much as twisted the truth a bit.

So Kiba's first challenge as a teacher… now was the boy lying or not? You are a trained ninja, analyse the information…

'Even if you aren't lying to me, I doubt that you really need to take all of your friends up to the hospital wing, do you?' Kiba said and smirked when the Malfoy brat's eyes widened for a fraction of a second before narrowing until they were only halfway visible.

Harry grinned as the new teacher sucked the Slytherins' points dry, docking each of them five points for lateness. He imagined Snape's face when he walked past the hourglasses, only to find that the points that he managed to save for his house due to favourtism had been sucked through the hole at the top of the hourglass. Obviously Malfoy had gotten quite used to Hagrid's easy to push over attitude and his smug face was replaced by a scowl.

'My name is Professor Inuzuka, I will be your Care of Magical Creatures teacher for the rest of the year in place of Hagrid,' he inclined his head a little, although he didn't seem very sincere, 'I'm very new to this country and I'm unfamiliar with your customs. I hope you'll all look after me-,' Kiba mentally blanched, he was starting to sound a lot like Iruka, '-and that we all get along.'

He blinked as several hands shot up into the air, 'Yes, you-,' he pointed at a girl with long dark hair tied back into a plait, 'What's your name?'

'Parvati Patil, sir,' the girl said, giving him a look that made him feel a little uneasy, 'how old are you?'

Kiba hesitated, 'I don't believe that information is relevant…'

He pointed at a sandy haired youth a little away from the previous youth, 'Where are you from, you said you won't from around here?'

'Japan,' Kiba lied easily.

'I didn't know there were wizarding communities in Japan,' a girl with bushy brown hair said. He quickly identified her as the girl that Harry always hung out with, Hermione Granger.

'They're very well hidden and we prefer to keep to ourselves,' he said.

'Then why did you want to come to Hogwarts?'

'Where are the teachers?'

'How did you get such a big dog?'

'That's enough! Questions later,' Kiba said, sounding flustered. He was going to be a lot nicer to Iruka from now on. Teaching was indeed a difficult task.

The students swallowed their many questions reluctantly but continued to stare at him curiously. 'Well, before we start, I'd like to make a few rules; some of them will not only apply for my own classes but for my colleagues' classes as well,

'1. Akamaru,' he indicated the dog who barked enthusiastically, 'shall be treated with equal respect that you'll show any other teacher.'

'Arf, Arf!'

Kiba paused, deciphering the information, 'Oh, he tells me that he wants you to call him "sir" and "professor" at all times.'

'You can understand dog speech?' Dean said, looking impressed.

'Well,' Kiba said, trying to look modest but failing greatly, 'yes I can.'

'Are you an Animagus?' Seamus asked curiously.

'Err- no,' Kiba said, mentally noting himself to search the foreign word up as soon as he returned to his room.

However, not all the students were happy with this rule.

'You want us to call a _dog _sir?' Malfoy snorted incredulously. Behind him, the Slytherins held similar sneering faces. Akamaru barked angrily.

'Akamaru has intelligence equaling that of humans,' Kiba replied coldly, mentally adding the boy to his bad books, 'and even exceeding some,' he added pointedly, his head directed at Malfoy.

'2. You are not to talk back to me or any teacher for all that matter, nor can you complain. You're lucky that I'm actually one of the nicer teachers but some like Professor Uchiha, especially is on permanent PMS,' he snorted at his own little joke although the students gave him very blank expressions, full of confusion.

'3. You are not to use your wands on anyone in class,' Kiba looked thoughtful, 'unless the person's being an ass. Then I'll make an exception.'

The students laughed heartily. 'Well, anyway, now that we've gotten that aside, we can finally move onto the lesson,' Kiba said. The students had a few seconds as they saw his legs bend at the knees and they dodged back quickly when he leapt cleanly off the roof, landing quite unharmed on his feet. 'Put your bags against the wall over there but bring your wands and follow me to the back.'

Professor Inuzuka led them to the pumpkin patch. Several large pumpkins, each of them big enough to stand up to Harry's waist sat underneath vines as thick as a garden hose. Between the pumpkins were 10 wooden crates, each as large as the pumpkins that shook rather violently. They were bound by only a scrap of paper, each with identical foreign symbols on them that looked ready to burst open at any moment, unleashing the creature within.

'I've been left a course guideline by your previous teacher,' Professor Inuzuka said, waving a hand at the crates. The students stood a few metres away, uncertain of whether it was safe to approach. 'This is your first topic of the year- Blast Ended Skrewts.'

Harry grimaced. Whatever Hagrid had planned for them had always been a bit on the fanged and clawed side. The creature's name didn't exactly help either, perhaps everyone was thinking the same thing because the next moment, Lavender raised her hand tentatively, voicing everyone's thoughts.

'Are they dangerous?' she said, eyeing the crates nervously.

'Dangerous?' Kiba said incredulously, 'not at all! Sure they can cause a few minor burns and their stings can cause injury but they're really not that bad after you beat some sense into them.'

The students looked, if not, even more unwilling to approach the crates, although Kiba was undeterred, 'Today, you're going to split into groups of three or four and spar with a Skrewt. You may find them a little energetic because I gave them each a food pill to help them grow faster. Not many survived- but that's beside the point,' he stared pointedly at his students who had not moved, 'Well?'

They quickly formed into the usual groups. Harry, Ron and Hermione partnered with a nervous looking, Neville who looked as if he'd rather receive a Howler than fight whatever Hagrid had in stall for him. Malfoy moved together with Crabbe and Goyle, obviously under the impression that their large muscles would provide some protection for him as well as Pansy Parkinson.

Professor Inuzuka held up his hand, placing two fingers to his lips, 'I'm going to open the crates now, have your wands at the ready! Use any spell for defense or attack you can think off- _Kai_!'

With a small bang, the paper bonding the crates split in half and they burst open. There were shrieks and gasps of shock as a deformed, scorpion-like creature crawled out of each of the crates. They were almost the size of Akamaru, although the large, menacing sting dangling from their behinds made them look a lot large. To his right, Neville took a few steps back as they caught sight of a deformed face; a sort of dark brown armour had developed on the Skrewt's pale back but the thing would've not been nearly as intimidating had it not been shooting large sparks of fire from its tail.

'This has to be illegal!' Pansy Parkinson shrieked, her already high voice reaching a peak. Her Skrewt turned what appeared to be its face towards her, distracted by her voice and charged. What followed this was a lot of screams and chaos.

Harry pushed Hermione towards the ground as the sting lashed towards them like a whip. Ron and Neville dodged, trying to get behind their Skrewt but their movements only seem to infuriate it. They shot a few jinxes and curses at it but the armour proved to provide some protection against magic. Although it was not yet fully developed, their spells not yet bouncing off them harmlessly; it still sent the creatures onto the floor but only for a few seconds before they stood up, angrier than ever.

'Not dangerous?' Harry heard Lavender scream loudly somewhere behind him, 'Not dangerous?'

Harry silently agreed with Lavender, bending down to snatch his wand off the ground where it had fallen. If these Skrewts weren't considered dangerous in Professor Inuzuka's books then their new teacher had an even worse monster fetish than Hagrid.

'_Expelliarmus!_' Harry cried, the red spell hit the Skrewt full in the unprotected belly. It lay on its back, winded but it proved enough of a distraction for Ron, Hermione and Neville to send a combined jinx at it, knocking it out, hopefully for good.

Kiba nodded approvingly at them although not everyone was faring so well. Lavender and Parvati had abandoned all attempt to fight at all and instead had their hands thrown over their heads and screeched loudly whenever the Skrewt blasted off sparks, leaving Seamus and Dean to fend for themselves. With another loud blast, the Skrewt leapt forward and landed on Seamus' back. He gave a yelp of fright and shock as his hair caught on fire. Dean aimed a jinx at the creature, which knocked it off Seamus who began repeatedly beating his head against a nearby patch of ground to put out the flames.

Meanwhile Malfoy was having as little success to beat his Skrewt as Seamus and Dean. Crabbe had already been knocked out by a particularly powerful blast and Goyle was stumbling blindly, his hands covering his burnt face. Pansy Parkinson was clutching Malfoy's arm tightly, screeching into his ear as if he was a life line although the latter was too stunned to do anything at all.

Kiba watched all of this, laughing quite light-heartedly. He watched his babies play with the brats a little longer until even he felt sorry for them. Pressing his finger to his lips, he gave a short, shrill whistle. The Skrewts stopped their attacks abruptly; one of them had their sting poised, ready to strike down a poor Slytherin before crawling back obediently to their crates. Harry watched as the professor whipped out more tags from the pocket in his jacket and stuck them onto the crates, holding them in place.

'Well, that was rather entertaining,' Kiba laughed, oblivious to the glares that his students shot at him, 'you-,' he pointed at Dean, 'take your friend up to the hospital wing to get his burns treated, and you- ,' he indicated Malfoy who looked quite out of breath but had the most menacing glare of all, 'take them,' he pointed at Crabbe who had awoke, looking quite dazed and unstable and Goyle who still had his hands over his face.

'I-I'm telling my father about this!' Malfoy yelled as he walked away followed by Crabbe and Goyle, 'he'll have you sued, mark my words!' Kiba ignored him and turned his back on the former, and addressed the students.

'The performance today was disappointing,' he said very bluntly, 'I expect you to arm yourselves for battle by next lesson. I went easy on you today because it was my first lesson but next time, I shall not be so kind… well done, you four,' he added, indicating Harry, Ron, Hermione and Neville.

When they were finally dismissed, the students almost ran off to their next class with a giant sigh of relief. 'You know what?' Ron said suddenly as they headed down to the Greenhouses for Herbology.

'What?' Harry and Hermione grumbled.

'I really miss Norbert.'

**Finally, finished! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it! I hope you give as much support as you did for me last chapter and review! Next chapter will be "Herbology with Professor Yamanaka", followed by "Divination with Professor Hyuuga". Please tell me who you want to be next after those three. **


	3. Herbology with Professor Yamanaka

**Hi again!**

**I bet you're all angry at me for not updating in so long and I must give my most sincere apologies. This was due to a mixture of school, life, writer's block and pure laziness. **

**After that I might go onto a hiatus for 10 weeks. In Sydney, the third term has the most assignments and tests and I've got my school certificate this year which I'm sorry to say is a lot more important than Fan-fiction.**

**I'm very sorry, I was hoping to take more advantage of my holiday time but I'm afraid, that's not possible. My keyboard's being an ass and some of the buttons are faulty. It takes a long time to type with the screen until I get a replacement and even then I have to wait two weeks. Term starts tomorrow.**

English

_Japanese_

'Speech'

Herbology with Professor Yamanaka

A knock on the door jerked Ino from her thoughts. She hesitantly folded the corner of the page of _1001 ways to brew Healing Potions and Poultices_. Ino had decided that the wizards had poor combat tactics but they did have a broad understanding of medicine in potions that medical ninjas from the Elemental Countries would die to get their hands on. Ino stood, leaving the book lying nonchalantly on the coffee table beside a small pot of daffodils she had been growing and walked over to the door. With a small click, she lifted the hatch, exposing a single, large green eye and spotted a timid looking first year, staring nervously at her toes. Wondering why in the hell a student knew the whereabouts of their bedding quarters, she did not open the door. Although she doubted that the tiny student, who barely reached up to her chest was suspicious, it couldn't hurt to be cautious. For all she knew, it could very well be a clever enemy infiltrating the school under the disguise of an innocent person.

'May I help you?' she said as kindly as possible. The first year jumped, her eyes widening as they landed on the single eye peering at her from under the hatch.

'Err- M-Madam Pomfrey w-wanted me t-to deliver a m-message,' the student began nervously.

'Very well, what is it?' Ino said, smiling in a comforting sort of way, despite the fact that she was indeed aware that the first year could not see it.

'S-She requests the s-services of Professor Haruno or Yamanaka w-who she w-was informed were m-medical practitioners r-right now,' the timid girl stuttered. Ino was surprised; from the few days stay she had at Hogwarts, the school nurse had been a wonderful medical witch with interesting knowledge and experience. She had rather taken a liking to Ino and Sakura, though she seemed to disapprove of the remainder of the ninjas with a great passion. Ino wondered what could've possibly happened that was too great for the nurse to deal with, after all- the times Ino had ever seen her, she had not seemed to require any help from them.

Ino continued to stare at the messenger for a few more moments before turning the lock and opening the door with a creak. The girl's eyes widened with admiration and fear at the sight of her and Ino was too late to suppress a smirk. Even in the wizarding world, Ino was considered an outstanding beauty- something she often waved in the face of a not-so-attractive Billboard Brow.

'Thank you for telling me,' Ino said, although the girl looked far from pleased by her congratulations and instead ducked to the side of the hallway quickly to let her pass before dashing away like a frightened mouse. Ino sighed for a second time, her mind racing with thoughts. Wizards had always had a bad impression of ninjas but they had never been that paranoid of them and judging by the way the girl had reacted to her appearance, something bad must've happened in her comrades' classes. Her first guesses were Sasuke or Lee. After all the former was a sadistic bastard, though she had always found that an attractive factor about him and the latter always overdid things.

The hospital wing was located on the fourth floor which was only one level down from where the ninja headquarters were located so it didn't take long for Ino to arrive at the wooden doors. She pressed her ears against the wood but soon discovered that the hospital wing had magical wards to prevent eavesdroppers from listening, probably a precaution to secure one's privacy. Curiosity eventually overwhelmed Ino and she threw the doors open. Ino's bottom lip fell, although she quickly caught herself. What would people say if they saw her elegant self standing like a mindless hobo with her jaw on the shell white tiles?

Every single hospital wing bed was occupied with translucent curtains hanging over them for privacy, though Ino saw enough from the many chairs lined beside them, filled with those patients leftover who could not fit in all the beds. A girl with long, shiny black hair that Ino was slightly envious of until she reminded herself that no one could possibly compare to her beautiful blonde locks, was clutching what looked like a broken arm, waiting in line for a frustrated middle aged woman who she assumed was Madam Pomfrey. The frantic school nurse dashed around the room, at least ten bottles of healing potions were gathered in her arms, a bundle of hastily cut bandages lay on the corner of a table, in danger of toppling off any second. Currently the hospital wing rather resembled something close to a medical tent after a pretty abrasive shinobi war.

'Ah, you're here,' Madam Pomfrey said, looking relieved as she rushed up to her and dumped all of the potions bottles in Ino's arms. Ino struggled to balance all of them so that they did not smash on the floor; after all she didn't want the nurse's good impression of her to shatter in this critical moment. Sakura would never let her live it up if that happened, 'please tend to all the patients in that row over there while I go and fetch more Essence of Dittany.'

As the nurse rushed off, Ino's sensitive ears caught her muttering something along the lines of , '-Dumbledore thinking? Hiring violent, distasteful maniacs with bloodthirsty intents-.'

Ino had never felt more desire to slap her face in frustration at the accuracy of her hypothesis but the many bottles in her hand prevented her from doing so. She was wrenched from her thoughts by the whimpering of a nearby first year who was clutching her eye where a healthy purple bruise had started to form. Ino immediately recognized the work of Rock Lee and released yet another sigh, (she was doing that quite often today for some reason); the boy had never been able to know the limits of his strength. Even what he intended to be a "friendly punch" could cost someone who wasn't used to him their life. Ino had never experienced this first hand but she had remembered all too well, the numerous times she had healed Neji's limbs after a "spar." The Hyuuga wasn't exactly the most delicate sparring partner either and Lee would often walk in with half of his internal organs caved in. Boys, Ino thought, mentally rolling her eyes as she dabbed some dittany on a fat Slytherin boy with a nasty burn on his face.

The face looked slightly familiar and it took her a few seconds to recognize the owner of it. Since the welcome ceremony the previous night, Ino had discovered that the boy often hung out with an attractive blonde Slytherin boy by the name of Draco Malfoy. To confirm her guess even more, said boy was standing a few feet with his arms folded, trying to ignore the moaning of the injured students and his nose stuck up high in the air. The posture reminded Ino uncannily of Sasuke although Ino had to admit that Sasuke was a lot more attractive.

She had an urge to speak to the boy, after all Ino had never been able to resist good looking men but her duties as a medical ninjas kept her at bay as she moved down the long row, bandaging limbs and dabbing burns and cuts with dittany. With some of the more serious injuries, Ino was tempted to just throw aside the white cloth and bottles and heal all of them within a minute with her mystical palm technique but Tsunade had specifically instructed for them to use as few jutsus as possible in fear of giving up their position.

However to her surprise, Draco approached her first while she tended to the arm of the pretty Ravenclaw girl she had seen earlier. 'Hello. You're not a regular assistant are you? I saw you at the ceremony last night,' he spoke slowly in a drawl that he possibly thought would make him sound cooler or something along those lines.

'You have some good observation skills and you are correct. I will be teaching Herbology this year,' Ino replied, trimming the long bandages with a pair of scissors. The boy was eyeing her in a way that Ino was now quite used to; although it had been uncomfortable at first- she had grown to enjoy the attention.

'I'm Draco, by the way. Draco Malfoy,' Draco said, his voice emphasizing on his last name with a hint of pride.

'That's good to know,' Ino replied blandly, she hoped the bluntness of her voice would throw him off. She rather preferred to have as few distractions as possible whilst she was working. However Draco was not in the least bit deterred, in fact he looked rather pleased and pressed on.

'May I ask for yours?' he continued in the same drawl.

'Well since you will be one of my students this year, I see no harm in telling you,' Ino said, pressing the cloth onto a deep cut wound on the girl's shoulder, ignoring her wince of pain, 'I will like you to address me as Ino.'

'That's a pretty name,' Draco replied; his voice was lowering, becoming deeper and more mature. Ino immediately recognized these symptoms, having experienced them many times in her lifetime, 'if you don't mind me asking, how old are you, professor? You seem way too young to be teaching.' Ino winced. She still wasn't used to being called "professor" by someone her own age. It made her feel old.

'I'm afraid I can't tell you that,' Ino said, 'now if you'll excuse me, I have some work to do and I would prefer if you do not continue to distract me.' She turned her back on Draco who looked very disappointed but could find no words to say in reply.

The door creaked open and Ino looked up eagerly. She had never thought that she would be more relieved to see Billboard Brow and hastily shoved the scissors and bandages on the wooden table. Sakura's eyes widened for a second, taking in the scene before her. 'I heard that you needed my help…' she began uncertainly.

'It was a lot worse when I arrived here,' Ino informed her honestly, 'could you please take over hospital duty while I prepare for my next class?'

'Yeah sure, whatever you say, piggy,' Sakura said, her instincts as a trained professional kicking in immediately and the shock left her face. Ino was so relieved at Sakura's arrival that she didn't even retaliate to the nickname and instead shut the door on her. Out of the corner of her eye, Draco had moved to talk to Sakura although Ino was not too worried. She hated to admit it but Sakura wasn't that stupid to give up any troublesome information although she had a feeling that her personality wasn't exactly compatible with the rather snobby Slytherin boy. If she should be concerned at all, it would be for Draco Malfoy and she would not be surprised if he was pushed into his first Herbology lesson in a wheelchair; Sakura had a rather unwomanly amount of strength that Ino did not approve of and she was not nearly as patient as her.

The greenhouses were located somewhere on the grounds near the gamekeeper's hut where Kiba's lesson was taking place. From the distance, she could not see the student's face properly but judging by Kiba's wild laugh, he had probably done something rash and immature again. Ino almost felt sorry for the students of Hogwarts and she could safely say that _her _lesson would be thoroughly less violent.

When the bell finally rang, Harry, Ron and Hermione joined the large hoard of Gryffindors who had risen as one man and tried to put as much distance between themselves and the crazy, monster loving man before him. Harry mentally begged in his head that their next teacher had at least a scrap of sanity within them.

The greenhouses were closer to the hut than Harry would've liked. The Gryffindors joined the Hufflepuffs who stood nervously outside the translucent glass doors, wondering what kind of monster their new Herbology teacher would be. Eventually Dean plucked up the courage and pushed the door open. Their jaws fell.

Every greenhouse that Harry had entered so far had a large collection of the strangest flowers he had ever seen but this one was different. Instead of the usual magical plants they often studied with Professor Sprout, often sprouting ugly tentacles or exhaling a deadly poison- the greenhouse was full of plants that Harry could recognize from the Muggle world although he didn't know the name.

'It's beautiful,' he heard Lavender Brown gasp as she bent down to admire some white snowdrops, the delicate petals were embellished with small water crystals, suggesting that they had just been freshly watered. Harry agreed, it was indeed a magnificent sight and would've been quite content to stand there forever and look through all of them.

'Welcome, my students,' came an enthusiastic feminine voice somewhere amongst the small jungle of flowers. Their eyes darted around, trying to find the source of the voice which seemed to be coming from everywhere, 'welcome to my humble flower garden-.'

Humble? Harry thought in disbelief as he stared around at the magnificent sight- he had never seen so many flowers in one place in his entire life.

'Don't touch anything!' the voice suddenly rose in volume; Lavender leapt back with a small squeak of fright, her hand darting quickly back to her side, 'you can observe but do not touch.'

There was a rustle behind some large shrubs that sprouted large white flowers and a figure immerged. A young, slender woman emerged from behind and Harry could not help but gape in awe. She was beautiful- almost border-lining unnatural, exactly like a Veela or probably a half blooded one. She had pale skin that looked soft to touch and long platinum blonde hair tied into a high ponytail that swayed as she moved like the tail of an angel's horse. Her turquoise eyes were pupiless, framed with thick black eyelashes. In short, the elegant lady before Harry did not resemble a teacher that he had ever seen and looked as if she was more suited for the career of modeling rather than writing notes on a chalkboard. She was dressed in what many people deemed "skanky" clothing though Harry didn't mind at all as his mind was completely at ease and by the looks of many of the other members of the male population surrounding him, including his best friend Ron, he was a lot better off. At least his brain hadn't melted into a puddle of mindless goo. Parvati and Lavender felt their mouths open and shut, their eyes glazed over with obvious idolism.

'Fourth year Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs, I presume,' the woman said as the crowd before her gave scattered and hasty nods, 'my name is Professor Yamanaka but I prefer if you just call me Ino. I'm still not used to all this 'professor' and 'miss' crap quite yet- yes what is it?'

Harry turned around and to his surprise spotted no one other than Hermione with her hand raised high in the air like a beacon. 'Um-Profes-I mean… Ino, I couldn't help but recognize that your name is Japanese for pig… not that I mean to be rude or anything,' she added quickly, 'could it be that all of the new teachers are Japanese as well? I mean, you don't look-err-very Japanese at all-'

Harry blinked. Now that he thought about it, _none _of the teachers looked Japanese at all despite Kiba claiming that he haled from the country. What was more, Professor Yamanaka had _blonde _hair and _green _eyes. If anything, she looked kind of French. In fact the only person out of the group who looked distinctly oriental was Professor Uchiha and even he didn't look completely Asian.

Ino's eye twitched at the word "pig", it had sort of become a reflex after all those years of yelling competitions with the Billboard Brow. 'You're right. I'm not Japanese,' Ino said. She didn't see much point in hiding it any longer as the girl would see right through it and with the situation, any excuse would just make them feel more suspicious, 'Please don't ask,' she cut across Hermione as she opened her mouth to speak. 'Before I start the class, I want to lay down some rules.'

The students stiffened, feeling a shared sense of déjà vu, '1. No one is to ever address me by the name "pig" ever again…or else,' the room temperature dropped about twenty degrees and they shivered, nodding rapidly. Hermione in particular gave a squeak of fright and stared at her shoes, blushing right to the roots of her bushy, brown hair. Out of the corner of Harry's eye, a dainty white daffodil wilted. ' are not to talk back to me ever, or complain and 3. Wand use will land you a week's worth of detentions unless I give you permission. These rules apply to not only my own class, but the classes of my colleagues. You're lucky that I'm actually one of the more level headed teachers but some of them go a bit…overboard,' Ino winced, a certain dark haired Uchiha flashed through her mind followed closely by Lee, Neji and Naruto.

'Um… Professor Inuzuka said something similar as well,' Dean said tentatively, 'Err- is Professor Uchiha-err- secretly a girl?'

'What?' Ino said, looking flabbergasted.

'Um… well, Professor Inuzuka said that he-err-suffers from Pre-menstruation syndrome,' Dean said.

A giant vein popped in Ino's head, 'NOOOO! HOW DARE YOU CALL MY SASUKE-KUN A GIRL, YOU LITTLE BRAT! THERE IS MORE TESTOSTERONE IN HIS PINKY FINGER THAN THE LOT OF YOU COMBINED!' her voice echoed off the glass walls of the greenhouse, increasing the already unbearing volume by a hundred. The students jumped, Neville actually leapt behind a large pot, containing a corpse flower. Harry blinked as what appeared to be tiny red horns sprouted from Ino's head and her eyes narrowed into triangular slits. She really was like a Veela, beautiful at first glance then they turn around to bite you in the butt. She even had the scaly fingers and folded bat wings to match. Harry wouldn't have been all that surprised if the entire greenhouse shattered under the mere volume of her outburst.

Poor Dean stumbled back, looking as if he was ready to spill all his body fluids on the floor, 'I-I'm sorry…,' he mumbled.

Ino cleared her throat, embarrassed at her sudden lost of temper, 'There's no need to apologise. I lost control there,' she gave a small tinkling laugh as sweet as a bubbling brook. A few of the male students jerked back into fascination mode though Harry's hands still shook with fear. Hermione rolled her eyes.

'Well, anyway- now that the introductions have been cleared, I still don't know your names,' Ino pulled a roll of blank tags from the pocket of her purple skirt, 'OK, here we go… if you could each get out your brushes and ink- or whatever you write with and take a tag. I want you all to write your names… just so the first few classes so I can learn your names.' She passed the roll of tags to Ernie Macmillan who hastily began passing them around while the rest of them grabbed bottles of ink and quills for writing.

The lesson was actually kind of fun in Harry's opinion though he had no idea how it had anything to do with Herbology. Ino started the class by showing them several of her favourite flowers, which was indeed a lot. She was particularly fond of red roses, which represented love.

'Pro- I mean, Ino,' Lavender said, 'are you in love with someone?'

Ino looked surprised at her question and was no fast enough to hide the faint, pink blush that formed on her cheeks. 'As a matter of fact, I am,' she replied smoothly.

Harry winced as almost every girl in the entire greenhouse squealed, save for Hermione. 'That's so cute!' Parvati exclaimed. 'Tell us more about him.'

Ino's blush reddened. 'Well, I don't see the harm in telling you' she began slowly, 'he's very handsome and refined, like a prince and he's really strong and powerful. Actually, he's one of the strongest in our village. He's got this dark, mysterious aura as well…' she trailed off, her eyes glazed over as she stared at something that wasn't the students.

Harry's ears whimpered in protest as the entire female population gave a very loud, 'AWWW…'

'He sounds dreamy,' Parvati sighed, 'so who is this lucky man?'

'Are you joking? It's so obvious,' Hermione whispered to Harry.

Harry blinked, 'Really?'

'Any guy, _she _likes must be born under the luckiest star in the whole universe,' Ron sighed. Hermione glared and turned her back on him muttering something that sounded suspiciously like '_boys_.'

It was then that Ino jerked out of her daze and gave a very deep cough, 'We're getting off topic,' she said, looking embarrassed. Parvati did not press her any further however judging by the look on her face, she found the avoidance Ino had towards the topic to be even more cute and romantic.

'This term we will be learning ikebana,' Ino said, 'a common practice back in my home village. So can anyone tell me what it is?' It was to no one's surprise when Hermione's hand shot into the air. 'Yes, Miss Granger?'

'Ikebana is an ancient Japanese art which involves arranging flowers, conforming to very strict principles designed to create harmony, balance, and a beautiful form,' she recited so quickly that even Ino had to repeat the words several times in her head to decipher it.

'That's a very sophisticated answer,' Ino praised and Hermione beamed. 'For anyone who didn't catch that, Ikebana is the art of flower arrangement. It's actually one of my hobbies, which is why I chose to teach Herbology.'

They spent the rest of the lesson observing several flower arrangements that Ino, herself had put together and Harry found himself very impressed by her artistic talent. Parvati and Lavender were particularly enthusiastic and seemed to have developed a kind of role model bond with her.

'That was a pretty pointless lesson,' Hermione grunted as they headed back up to the Great Hall for morning break.

'You're sooo jealous,' Ron smirked.

'I am not!' Hermione exclaimed defensively, 'I just don't see how her lesson had anything to do with Herbology! I don't think she's teaching us the correct content!'

'Well, all the new teachers are nutters,' Ron said, 'I mean, compared to Inuzuka's lesson, that was actually pretty normal,' he gave a very noticeable shudder. He exchanged a very grim smile with Harry. 'I can't wait for Hagrid to come back…'

'I wonder how he's doing,' Hermione said.

'Oh yeah, I forgot to ask you something,' Harry said, catching their attention.

'What?'

'Who does Ino like?' Harry asked. Ron leaned in, listening eagerly.

Hermione pursed her lips and frowned, 'It's not my business so I'm not going to tell you or you'll start spreading rumours.'

'Oh come on, Hermione,' Ron whined, 'we won't tell anyone!'

'It's so obvious, I thought you'd have worked it out anyway,' she replied huffily.

Harry and Ron exchanged clueless looks, 'Err-actually we have no idea.'

Hermione shook her head in exasperation.

**OK, I admit it! I suck at writing Ino. I really hate this chapter and even though it sucks, will you all still review? *gives puppy dog eyes* Anyway, next chapter will be better, I'm OK at writing Neji. Do you guys want Sasuke or Lee after him? Most people seem to want me to write those two. Please state your reply in a review. Oh and the Sasuke PMS thing, it will be a running gag from now on. XD**


	4. Divination with Professor Hyuuga

**I apologise once again for the long wait but here it is. Also, though I've made it quite clear in Chapter 2, some off you have appeared to miss it so I repeat this hopefully for the last time. There will be NO PAIRINGS. I will ignore all requests for pairings not because I want to be an ass but because:**

**I suck at writing romance**

**If I write pairings, there will be complaints from people who don't like the pairing or if they want their favourite character to be with someone else.**

**Romance has overruled the plot in many stories resulting in what would've been a decent, action filled, butt-kicking story into, well- a crappy teenage, sappy romance novel.**

**So in a nutshell, to please the majority of my readers pleased, no pairings is the way to go.**

Divination with Professor Hyuuga

As time passed over the next few days, it became blatantly obvious that most of the new teachers had little to no experience in their teaching field. It seemed that Hermione was right, they had not learnt a single thing except how to fight wild animals and cultivate Muggle flowers in the past three days.

Harry heard many reports from fellow Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs with similar dissatisfaction with the new teachers. 'I don't know what Dumbledore is thinking?' Hermione complained at the breakfast table on Wednesday, 'I mean, we haven't learnt a single useful thing at all since they arrived! How are we going to pass our exams like this?'

'Be careful,' Ron said warningly, scanning the Staff table worriedly, 'they could hear us.'

'Dumbledore mentioned something about doing a favour for an old friend at the welcome ceremony,' Harry said, tracing over the words in his head.

'An old friend?' Hermione said thoughtfully, 'they seem foreign.'

Ron snorted, 'I think we've all deduced that the moment they arrived.'

'No, I mean, I know Professor Yamanaka told us that they're Japanese but I really don't believe this,' Hermione explained, 'they're definitely hiding something and I'm going to get to the bottom of this,' she huffed and stood up abruptly, the chair made a painful scraping sound as she stalked away, probably towards the library to do research.

Harry and Ron stared after her worriedly, she was almost out of sight when there was a flash and she was stopped right in her tracks by one of the teachers. He was a tall, long haired brunette boy dressed completely in some sort of traditional white kimono shirt and pants. He had pale, pupiless eyes that for some reason felt as if he was always watching you no matter which angle you turned to. He had arrived so suddenly that Hermione promptly crashed straight into him and fell backwards onto her backside with a small yell of surprise.

Even from the distance, Harry and Ron could catch every word. 'Class starts in ten minutes,' the teacher said, his voice was deep and menacing despite his rather feminine appearance, 'Where are you going?'

Hermione squeaked in shock and fear and for good reason too, he towered at least a head above her. 'I-I'm so sorry!' she apologised, 'I left some books in the library last night and I need them for my next class,' Hermione invented wildly on the spot. Neji continued to stare at her in a way that made the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. Those blank eyes sure were creepy as hell.

'You're Hermione Granger, are you not?' Neji said, tilting his head slightly to the left as he observed her. Hermione jumped, surprised that he knew her name.

'Y-Yes, sir!'

The teacher had a strange, eerie power to make you feel guilty even when you were blatantly aware that you were not in any way at fault. For all Hermione knew, she had every right to march up to the library and do whatever she pleased but for some reason she couldn't suppress that feeling of guilt that was gradually forming in the pits of her stomach. For a few seconds he continued to scrutinise her. Hermione gulped.

'You are not in my class,' Neji said blandly, 'you do not take Divination. I don't care if you are late for my colleagues' classes as long as you are not late in my class. Go get your books, girl.'

'Err-yeah-thanks very much,' Hermione said quickly and scampered out of sight.

'Wow, he's scary,' Ron whispered as the brunette boy began walking towards on of the many doors that led away from the Entrance Hall.

'And guess what?' Harry said grimly.

'What?'

'We have Divination next.'

'Oh crap, we've got to run then!' Ron exclaimed, eyeing his watch like it was going to explode in his face any moment. 'He'll _kill _us if we're late!'

XxX

Neji was pleased. The tea boiled quickly with the special magical teapot that Dumbledore had given him. He poured himself a good portion, staining the inside of his teacup with a nice shade of green and sipped it gratefully. Before Neji had even arrived at his office, he could smell the strong incense of the room from the silver stepladder. That was never a good sign, if he could already smell it so thickly before he had even entered the room, he doubted he would be able to stand teaching for the rest of the year in a room with such a pungent smell.

His predecessor had also seemed fond of trinkets. When Neji had hesitantly entered the room, holding his breath in, it was only due to his extended ninja training that he did not trip over the numerous pouffes that scattered everywhere at random, knocking over a thousand candles, teacups and crystal balls the process. Neji guessed that whoever this teacher was, she was probably an older woman or at least someone who fancied collection. The room had no sense of order either and the decorations were randomly scattered everywhere in a very disorganised, tangled mess.

Neji immediately ordered a few house elves to clean out the office, emptying all his predecessor's belongings in large, black garbage sacks and packing them away in a closet where he would not have to look at them. Next he had them install lemon air refreshioners but even after three days, the incense still lingered slightly though at least now it was bearable enough to teach in and Neji was convinced that it would eventually disappear all together over time.

There was a small bang as the trapdoor opened and two girls, he recognised to be from Gryffindor emerged. One had tanned skin with long, black hair that was tied in a single plait and looked distinctly Indian while the other had curly brown hair and pale skin, a classic looking British. Neji quirked up an eyebrow, they were five minutes early, 'Welcome,' he said calmly, 'please take a seat anywhere you like on the ground.'

The two girls continued to stare at him in awe for a few seconds and Neji fought to control his eye twitch. He hated being stared at 'Is something wrong?'

'It's so different!' Parvati gasped.

Neji looked up and glanced at the changes to the room. Surely enough, the previously dim room seemed to glow with renewal and freshness. The purple walls had been painted over with layers and layers of white paint and the only trinkets that still remained in the room was a single crystal ball and one teacup though the only reason it was there was because Neji fancied a cup of tea. Large green Tanami mats covered the entire room and several posters of star charts and Chinese zodiac animals covered the walls. The dark, clammy room that Professor Trelawney had created in an attempt to be more 'mysterious' had been completely cleared and refreshed. The room leached more freshness than a cucumber.

'I am aware,' Neji said coldly, 'I do not like repeating myself.'

They chose spots towards the front of the classroom and immediately began chattering amiably. Neji ignored them though snippets of their conversation occasionally reached his ears. However there was nothing really that they brought up that interested him- it was the same old judgements of which guy looked the best and who liked who. The pair reminded Neji uncomfortably of the fan girls back in Konoha.

'Um, professor,' Parvati said through giggles, Neji looked up from his tea with disinterest. The girl was giving him that look that made Neji feel extremely awkward. He didn't like it one bit and it was usually the cue for him to run before a whole horde of fan girls shot him a whole tirade of questions he didn't want to answer.

'Are you in a relationship with Ino?' Parvati asked.

Neji's eyebrows disappeared in his hairline, 'No,' he replied bluntly, 'why would you think that?'

'Well, professor told us that she liked someone so we've been asking any guy who matched her description,' Lavender said. 'Would you happen to know who he is?'

Neji hesitated before replying, 'As a matter of fact, I do,' he said carefully, 'but it is not my business to tell you.'

'Oh, come on! Please?' Parvati battered her eyelashes in a way that made Neji regret revealing his knowledge.

'We won't tell anyone!' Lavender added quickly. Neji highly doubted that. Judging by what he had seen of the girls so far, they seemed like the type who liked to gossip. If he was to give the information away then it would spread across the school like wildfire until even the caretaker, Filch knew about it. He doubted that Ino would've minded but still, he respected her privacy and sealed his lips.

'It's quite obvious actually,' Neji said truthfully, 'I'm sure you will work it out eventually.'

The two girls pouted in disappointment but dropped the topic. Instead they started a new one that Neji was even more reluctant to take part in. 'Say, Professor? Have you ever liked anyone?'

'What would you mean by 'like'?' he said, pretending to be clueless.

'Like, you know,' Lavender giggled, 'a girl?'

'I-,' Neji began but the trapdoor opened once again and Ravenclaws and Gryffindors began to pour in. He mentally sighed in relief, he doubted he could stand another second talking to those two girls. Each student expressed similar surprised glances at the new surroundings and muttered comments and Neji noticed that all of them seemed happy by the change.

'I can finally breathe now,' he heard Dean whisper quietly to his friend, Seamus.

When it seemed as if every mat was filled, Neji began the lesson. He stood gracefully and drifted over to the whiteboard, (he had introduced the technology to Dumbledore because chalkboards were bad for the health) and wrote his name on the board in English, 'My name is Professor Hyuuga-,' he said. He was cut off when the trap door burst open with the greatest amount of force yet. A tuft of bright ginger hair came into view followed shortly by a freckled face. A tall boy with a long nose clambered out of the trapdoor using the most ungraceful movements Neji had ever seen. No sooner had the redhead appeared, Harry Potter, the very boy that Dumbledore had warned him about followed after him and collapsed in a gasping heap beside his friend. It was evident that the two boy had run all the way to the tower and were out of breath. As a Hyuuga, Neji prided himself to always be graceful and dignified and he scrutinised the two boys with a look of disapproval.

'You two are late,' Neji said coldly.

'Sorry, professor,' Harry said, still gasping for breath, 'we ran here as fast as we could.'

'That still does not change the fact that you're late,' Neji continued in the same cold voice that sent shivers up Harry's spine. 'If everyone else can get here on time then why can't you,' he said it flatly like a statement rather than a question.

Harry waited for the punishments. What would the teacher do? Take points off Gryffindor? Perhaps give him a detention?

Neji sighed, 'Just take a seat,' he said finally. Harry and Ron exchanged looks of relief and squeezed up between Terry Boot and Neville. 'However, next time you're late, I _will _hand out punishments.'

'Yes, sir.'

'As I was saying,' Neji continued as if nothing had happened, 'my name is Professor Hyuuga. This is my very first Divination class so please sit back and listen to my rules, 'which will apply for every single teacher, not just myself and I'm sure you're sick of hearing them all the time anyway. 1. You must always address me as Professor Hyuuga or 'sir' at all times, 2. You will do as I say whether you want to do it or not,' he spoke it like a command, dropping from his lips with ease in a way that indicated to them that he was used to giving a command often and was even more used to seeing it obeyed, '3. You must never be late for class and you must always complete homework and assignments I give you. Shall you fail, I will deduct 20% of your marks every day you are late-.'

'Hermione will love him, he's the strict type that she approves of,' Ron muttered, 'too bad she doesn't take Divination anymore.'

Harry silently agreed but instead turned towards Ron and made a shushing sound as Professor Hyuuga continued, '4. Wands will not be used for spells against each other or on objects unless I give consent,' he said, 'failure to obey these will result in point deduction and detention. Are there any questions?'

Silence greeted the end of his speech and Professor Hyuuga seemed pleased, 'Now, we will continue with the real lesson. Before we begin, can someone please tell me what the word, "Divination" means?'

Most people were stumped by the question. Professor Trelawney had never really focused on the theory and had instead spent the entire lesson with tears flowing from her eyes as she weaved exaggerated stories about Harry's tragic future. Most people took a while to think for an answer however it was not a surprising sight to see Parvati's eager hand waving enthusiastically in the air.

Neji nodded towards the girl who immediately began answering so quickly that even he had to repeat the words in his mouth several times to understand, 'Can you repeat that please, more slowly so that the class can understand you?' he stated coolly. Parvati flushed.

'Divination is the magical art of predicting future events and determining their outcomes,' she said before looking at him expectantly to be praised.

Neji ignored her gaze and turned to the rest of the class, 'Any more definitions?'

When no one answered, Neji sighed and placed his tea down on the desk with nothing but the dregs left inside it, 'That was incorrect,' he said.

Parvati had her mouth hanging open in disappointment while Seamus and Dean sniggered behind her back.

'Yes, that is a general definition for Divination however I'd like you all to think outside the square,' he said. Harry half expected him to finish the sentence with a crazed, 'Reach into your inner eye and search for that vibration of power that will allow you to see-!' However, he didn't though it didn't stop him from smiling at the thought.

'I don't think Divination is real,' Dean perked up. Parvati and Lavender glared at him but instead of looking angry like Professor Trelawney would, Neji was interested.

'Explain.'

'Well, err-,' Dean said, suddenly regretting using his Gryffindor bravery and faltered, 'it's not really very- solid? I mean real Seers are very rare so it's not really possible for regular people to be able to see the future.'

'I like where this discussion is heading,' Neji commented approvingly, surprising the whole class.

'B-But-,' Parvati began, looking very dejected.

'Mr. Thomas is right,' he said, shocking everyone by his knowledge of Dean's name despite the lack of any introduction. 'This is what I call thinking outside the square, well done.' Dean's eyes were wide, never had he expected to be praised for a subject he had never shown much interest in, let alone the subject being Divination.

'My version of Divination is to sceptical of fate,' Neji said, pouring himself another cup of tea, 'there is no such thing as a solid future. The future is composed of a web of complex paths. It is the paths we choose that determine the future. As Mr. Thomas said before, true Seers are very rare but even people gifted with the 'sight' cannot truly see a future. What they see is only one of the paths. In other words, the future they predict will not happen if a different path is chosen.'

Half of the class stared at him with confused looks but a few people were nodding understandingly. However Parvati and Lavender looked devastated.

'But Professor Trelawney-.'

'- was lying,' Neji cut across Parvati, 'I don't know if the teacher I have re[laced was indeed a true Seer but one thing is clear to me. She was an incompetent teacher. I have looked at your past essays and lesson planners in hopes of support but I must say that I was severely disappointed.'

Harry and Ron exchanged smirks.

'I encourage everyone who takes this subject to look to this as a hobby,' Neji continued, 'as it would not prove productive at all of you do not possess the Sight and correct me if I am wrong but I'm sure that a good majority of this class don't. However homework should not be treated lightly and "less important" than let's say main subjects like Transfiguration or Potions.'

'Professor,' Dean said, from the duration of the lesson, he had replaced Parvati and Lavender as the enthusiastic student of the class since the small compliment Neji had given him, 'would you happen to have the Sight?'

'And your eyes,' a Ravenclaw girl piped up, 'you seem too coordinated to be blind, sir. But why don't they have any pupils?'

'To the first question, the answer is, no,' Neji said, 'I do not have the Sight. So we will be going through mostly theory based work this year but every Friday we will have a go at crystal ball gazing and palmistry and other topics. As for the second question,' he paused, 'they're a common trait in my family,' he said truthfully but avoided going into detail.

'Enough with the questions. This term, we will be focusing on Chinese Zodiacs and how their different elements can predict a person's future lifestyle. By the end of this term, I would like you each to submit a horoscope with a detailed explanation-.'

There was an explosion as the wall beside Neji's short Asian style desk exploded. Students screamed and ducked for cover as wood splinters and bits of brick flew everywhere. With the lack of furniture in the room to hide behind besides Neji's tiny desk, everyone was sprayed with bits of wall. Harry and Ron were thankfully towards the back of the classroom and were barely affected but the noise and the wild screaming was enough to startle them into backing up against the freshly painted white wall.

Neji had jumped out of the way just in time but his poor desk was split clean in half, the cup which he had been drinking from had fallen from the table's surface and hit the ground with a loud crunch, shattering into hundreds of tiny pieces, spilling its green contents on the floor.

'NEJI, IT'S TIME FOR OUR SPAR!' a loud voice yelled from amongst the chaos. When the dust cloud had cleared, a boy around Neji's age stood proudly in a tight fitting green jumpsuit with orange leg warmers. He had a bowl haircut that gleamed in the light and the strangest shaped eyes he had ever seen. What appeared to be two, large caterpillars grew on top of his eyes, so thick that it was almost a mono-brow. Harry recognised him from the Staff table though he'd never had the chance to meet him, an outcome that he was now grateful for. It wasn't surprising either since usually people remembered Lee for the rest of their lives once upon catching sight of him. Lee was really one of a kind, there was no one else like him except for his even crazier mentor, Might Guy.

'Lee,' Neji said in a dangerous voice that hid well suppressed rage, though one with a keen eye could tell that he was seconds away from losing control and hitting the man across the face, 'my lesson hasn't even finished yet.'

The man Professor Hyuuga had addressed as Lee looked around, confused as if noticing his surroundings for the first time. 'Oh,' he had his mouth wide open in surprise. A few Ravenclaws recognised him immediately and shrunk even lower into the ground, having already attended his Physical Education Class. 'Sorry about that, Neji!' he said laughing boisterously as if nothing had happened. The students gaped in silence as Neji looked at the ground in fury and shame, his brown fringe cast a shadow over his eyes as a vein visibly popped on his forehead.

'My name is Professor Rock!' Lee said, flashing them a pose that jutted his hip to one side, his arm stuck out with his thumb sticking up. Lee had actually intended for it to be cool but Harry thought it looked rather...well, gay. His teeth sparkled, yes! Sparkled! They were so clean, Harry was convinced that Professor Rock probably didn't even have to bring a torch with him whenever he went camping at night. All he needed was to open his mouth a flash a line of light from his teeth in front of him. 'For those who do not know me, I take Physical Education class!'

'Lee...'

'I look forward to meet all your youthful selves!'

'Lee...'

'So what do you think of Neji, huh? He can be a bit mean sometimes but he's actually a really sensitive person!'

'Lee!'

The spandex wearing demon from hell whirled around, 'Yes, Neji?' he said innocently.

'You broke my wall...'

'Yes, well I find that coming in through the wall is so much more youthful than using the boring old door!'

'You broke my desk...'

'Well, we could always get it repaired in a jiffy! Magic could probably fix this in a jiffy!'

'You trashed my office...'

'The house elves really work youthfully hard you know,' Lee laughed, taking a step back as Neji began stalking menacingly towards him. There was a loud crunch and everyone's attention darted to the broken teacup which Lee had stepped on.

'Whoops...'

'AND YOU RUINED MY TEA!'

Let's just say that class was dismissed early that day. Entrance to the Northern Tower was banned for an entire day while they sent up repairers to mend the damage created by a rampaging Neji and an overenthusiastic Lee.

XxX

'So how was Divination?' Hermione asked as they sat down in the Great Hall for lunch. Neither Ron or Harry spoke a single word since she arrived and they continued to stare blankly into their Sheppard pies. Not even Ron had a fork in his hand, looking as if he had lost his appetite for the first time in his life.

Harry and Ron shot her petrified stares. A gurgling sound began forming in Neville's throat.

**I'll be updating my other HP/Naruto crossover a lot more than Replacement Teachers. The story is called, 'Paper Dolls'. Please check it out if you've never heard of it before. Paper Dolls is a lot easier to write than Replacement Teachers. I've already written two chapters for it that I haven't updated yet. I will update the fourth chapter of Paper Dolls alongside with this chapter and wait until the end of the two week holiday break to update the fifth chapter of Paper Dolls.**

**After Neji, by popular vote will be Sasuke. After that, I want to do Sakura and then Naruto followed by Tenten, Rock Lee and Shikamaru. As for subjects about Arithmancy and Ancient Runes, I don't know enough about the subject to even start writing about them so unfortunately Hinata and Shino won't have a chapter dedicated to their class. Sorry guys. **

**On a brighter note, I promise that I will write a special chapter dedicated to Hinata and Shino so don't worry if you're fans of those characters because I will not leave them out. But the chapter won't be about their classes. I hope that's OK with you guys. The special chapters will be fitted in every now and then between normal classes.**

**Don't forget to review! By reviewing, you make me happy and more eager to write stories which will make you happy and create a whole cycle of happiness! So please review! **


	5. DADA with Professor Uchiha

**Hey ****everyone!****I ****know ****that ****a ****lot ****of ****people ****have ****been ****looking ****forward ****to ****the ****Sasuke ****chapter ****so ****please ****enjoy. ****Also ****for ****Hinata ****and ****Shino, ****if ****anyone ****would ****like ****to ****give ****suggestions ****as ****to ****what ****their ****special ****chapters ****are ****to ****be ****about, ****that ****would ****be ****really ****awesome. ****Thank ****you!**

English

_Foreign Language/ Empathise_

'Speech'

AN: I'm really sorry for what happened to my most recent updates! stuffed up the spacing on the italics for some reason. So just in case I'm not typing in bold or italic.

Defence Against the Dark Arts with Professor Uchiha

Harry looked nervously over at Ron whose ears were glowing red, a tell-tale sign that he was going to lose it at Malfoy any second now. The blonde Slytherin boy was drawling smugly about the article in the Daily Prophet.

'A picture of your parents outside their house-if you can call it a house! Your mother could do with losing a bit of weight, couldn't she?' Ron was shaking with fury. Everyone was staring at him.

'Get stuffed, Malfoy,' said Harry. 'C'mon, Ron...'

'Oh yeah, you were staying with them this summer, weren't you, Potter?' sneered Malfoy. 'So tell me, is his mother really that porky, or is it just the picture?'

'You know your mother, Malfoy?' said Harry, both he and Hermione had grabbed the back of Ron's robes to stop him from launching himself at Malfoy, 'that expression she's got, like she's got dung under her nose? Has she always looked like that, or was it just because you were with her?'

Malfoy's pale face went slightly pink. 'Don't you dare insult my mother, Potter.'

'Keep your fat mouth shut, then,' said Harry, turning away. A sharp force collided with the top of Harry's head just as a loud explosion issued above him. There was a grunt of pain as Harry swallowed a whole mouthful of stone floor and before he could even come to his senses, a roar echoed around the Entrance Hall, 'OH NO YOU DON'T, LADDIE!'

Harry felt the hand gripping his hair release him and he hastily clambered to his feet, his wand out and ready to attack. Professor Moody was limping down the marble staircase. His wand was out and it was pointing right at a pure white ferret, which was shivering on the stone-flagged floor, exactly where Malfoy had been standing. There was a terrified silence in the entrance hall. Nobody but Moody was moving a muscle. Moody turned to look at Harry-at least, his normal eye was looking at Harry; the other one was pointing into the back of his head.

'Looks like he got to you didn't he, Uchiha?' Moody growled, the blue eye swiveling to focus on someone standing behind Harry. Harry whirled around and spotted the dark haired, oriental teacher standing a few feet behind him. A dark red stain was blossoming on his blue T-shirt where Malfoy's spell had struck him though he didn't seem too concerned about the matter. 'That looks serious, let me have a look at it.'

'That won't be necessary,' Professor Uchiha said, not even glancing at the fatal looking wound as he walked closer towards Moody and the bouncing ferret. Droplets of blood splattered a red trail as he walked and Harry spotted Hermione cringing in pain, 'I must remind you, however that Transfiguration is not permitted as a form of punishment for students.'

'I don't like people who attack when their opponent's back's turned,' growled Moody as the ferret bounced higher and higher, squealing in pain. 'Stinking, cowardly, scummy thing to do...' The ferret flew through the air, its legs and tail flailing helplessly. 'Never-do-that-again-,'said Moody, speaking each word as the ferret hit the stone floor and bounced upward again.

'Professor Moody,' Sasuke grabbed the ferret before it could hit the floor again, 'I repeat, Transfiguration is not to be used on students no matter what the circumstances are. Let me deal with his punishment as my right as his Head of House.'

Moody froze, his mouth opened slightly for a few seconds as if contemplating something before finally his face moved into what might've been a grin. A very evil grin, 'Very well, Uchiha. I'll have you educate this lad.'

'Thank you, Professor,' Uchiha smiled? Harry shivered as a cold breeze froze his legs to the ground. He looked even more ominous with the scarlet blood dripping from his chest and hands. The ferret seemed to understand his fate all too well and began squirming furiously, squealing its head off. There was another explosion of smoke and the ferret transformed back into a very disheveled, very embarrassed Draco Malfoy.

'Let me go!' he yelled, it was obviously a painful situation for the Slytherin who was dangling from Sasuke's hand by only his platinum blonde hair. The gravity pulled on Draco's weight, putting a huge strain on the roots of the blonde hair he tended to with such care. Sasuke, being the loving person he was, dropped him like a sack of potatoes, leaving him in a crumpled black heap on the ground.

'Get up,' Sasuke said sharply, 'follow me.' Draco scrambled frantically to his feet, almost tripping over in his haste to obey. Nobody ever dared to say 'no' to Sasuke and he wasn't expecting an exception. And with blood still dripping steadily from his chest, Sasuke led his student through a door and in moments had vanished from sight.

'Don't talk to me,' Ron said quietly to Harry and Hermione as they sat down at the Gryffindor table a few minutes later, surrounded by excited talk on all sides about what had just happened.

'Why not?' said Hermione in surprise.

'Because I want to fix that in my memory forever,' Ron said with his eyes closed in an uplifted expression, 'Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret.'

XxX

The next day the Slytherin boy was spotted floating on the black lake, standing on a wooden platform, tied to a makeshift pole that was composed of a branch. The area around the lake was so crowded that it was difficult for the people at the back to see at first but eventually, the trio managed to find their way to the front.

Hermione gasped. 'Professor Uchiha did such a thing?' she said, looking flabbergasted. Her voice was completely lost in the tirade of jeering from the other students.

Harry and Ron looked absolutely delighted.

'I'm actually starting to like this Uchiha bloke,' Ron said gleefully. They spotted Fred and George directing a few members of the crowd into throwing pebbles towards Malfoy, though he was too far in the middle and the tiny stones didn't even come close to him. Nevertheless, it was without a doubt, an extremely humiliating situation for Malfoy and Harry, not for the first time this entire year almost felt sorry for him.

Harry spotted Professor Uchiha out of the corner of his eye standing isolated in one of the rare empty spots around the lake. He was chatting innocently with the new Head of Hufflepuff. Harry struggled to remember his name; it was something like Professor Ooze-make. The two teachers somehow noticed him staring at them and returned him equally blank stares, muttering something to each other.

'_I __think __you __overdid __it __this __time,__Sasuke_,' Naruto sighed, shaking his head in disapproval but the small smile on his lips gave away his secret enjoyment for the Slytherin's punishment, '_you__'__re __really __going __to __get __it __from __that __Mac-Google __lady __later._'

Sasuke shrugged, not bothering to correct his friend's mispronunciation of the Gryffindor Head's name. When it came to saying foreign names correctly, Naruto was a lost cause. '_She __can__'__t __tell __me __what __to __do_,' he said, the idea not really bothering him too much. In a way he was right, no one and absolutely no one could order Sasuke around. Not the teachers, not Dumbledore, not the captain of the mission, not even the Hokage. He was his own commander and no one else could force him to do anything. An itchy feeling was forming up in his chest, the sort of feeling Sasuke got when he was being watched. He glanced up and saw the Potter boy staring at him from across the lake. Naruto seemed to have noticed too because he was also looking at Harry. After a few seconds, Potter abruptly looked away and from then on avoided their eye contact.

'Professor Uchiha!' an angry voice said loudly from behind them. Immediately the jeering students dropped their acts and stood as still and silent as military soldiers. The sudden change in volume didn't seem to bother Sasuke all that much, in fact he continued to ignore it while Naruto spun around.

'_It__'__s __Mac-Google_,' Naruto muttered out of the corner of his mouth. Sasuke still remained motionless but his pupils averted slightly to the right and sure enough, a red faced Head of Gryffindor was rushing towards them, effortlessly clearing a path among the crowd of students. A lesser man than Sasuke would've shrunk away at the look on McGonagall's face but Sasuke's face remained blank.

Professor McGonagall thrust her wand out like a sword towards the direction of Malfoy and the wooden raft which immediately began zooming towards the lake edge, spraying up water behind it and creating large waves that splashed some of the people closer to the edge.

'What is the meaning of this?' the teacher said thunderously.

'I was simply teaching Mr. Malfoy a lesson,' Sasuke said smoothly, his calm attitude towards the situation at hand greatly contrasting against McGonagall.

McGonagall's lip tightened as the raft finally reached the shore and with another sharp jab of her wand, the ropes binding him to the wooden contraption were severed. Draco collapsed in a gasping heap on the ground, his face was flushed red with embarrassment. Naruto offered him a hand for support but the frightened Slytherin practically leap away in fear when he reached towards him. The presence of Sasuke didn't exactly help him calm down either.

'At Hogwarts we give out detentions, we absolutely do _not_use humiliation as a punishment!'

'Professor McGonagall, if I remember correctly, _I_am Head of Slytherin house, no?' Sasuke said coolly, 'it is according to my rights, my responsibility to punish a misbehaving student from my house.'

'Yes, but-,' said McGonagall, looking exasperated, 'you _can__'__t _just do that! It deliberately humiliates a student in front of his peers! It is against the rules!'

'Well, technically I'm not even a full time employed teacher of this school,' Sasuke interrupted, 'so the rules don't apply to me.' It was just like Sasuke to find a loophole in everything, 'If you have any objections as to how we dish out punishments back in my homeland then you can go to the Headmaster.'

Sasuke smirked as his colleague's eyes bulged. It took a few seconds for McGonagall to collect herself together and stood up to her full height which was a good head taller than Sasuke. 'Professor Uzumaki, could you please take Mr. Malfoy up to the hospital wing to calm down.'

'Sure thing, Professor Mac-Google,' Naruto said cheerfully, flashing a grin that almost blinded out the Sun behind him. McGonagall's lip thinned at the painful mispronunciation of her name but otherwise didn't comment. Naruto closed his fist around Draco's arm in a firm grip. The latter froze but otherwise allowed Naruto to drag him away, eyes blank in daze. It was a strange sight to see a short, blonde boy towing along another boy who looked several year older than him like a mother dragging a toddler.

Professor McGonagall watched him clear a path to the Entrance doors as if insuring that he was indeed heading towards the hospital wing before rounding on Sasuke again. 'Don't think I'll let you get away with this, Professor Uchiha. I _will _be reporting this event to Professor Dumbledore,' she said before turning on her heel and stalking down the empty path that Naruto had cleared in his wake.

XxX

Ever since the incident involving Draco Malfoy, the Gryffindors were looking forward to taking Defence against the Dark Arts more than ever. When they hurried into the classroom, it was already half packed and it was only ten minutes before the start of class. They found three seats right in front of the teachers desks and pulled out their copies of _The __Dark __Forces: __A __Guide __to __Self __Defence _before joining the other Gryffindors in their excited murmuring, every now and then taking a wild stab as to what exactly Moody was going to teach them.

Where ever Moody was, he was five minutes late and judging by what Harry had heard about him, he didn't seem like the type who would slack off. Ten minutes passed and by then the chatter had died down and people were doodling on bits of spare parchment and catching up with the latest gossip. Once fifteen minutes flew by, people were beginning to consider going up to the staffroom to announce a mix up with the teachers.

Harry leaned back in his chair, gazing up at the ceiling, he almost choked when he spotted a shower of knives, seconds away from hitting the entire class. Before he could gather his senses together and yell, he felt the knives sink into the desks and chairs, a few of them pierced through Harry's clothes, missing his skin by inches. The students gave cries of surprise as one man as the knives sunk heavily into wood and fabric however, like Harry, no one seemed hurt.

With the air clear of knives, a person could be seen crouching upside-down on the ceiling. Professor Uchiha stood up, his feet still firmly glued to the ceiling.

'I think I might me hallucinating,' Ron muttered from somewhere beside him.

'No, I'm seeing it too, mate,' Harry replied back. Around the classroom there were several murmurings of 'how does he do that!' Professor Uchiha walked calmly until he was at a spot dangling right over the teacher's desk before dropping. A few girls screamed as he plummeted towards the ground; seconds before he hit a surface, he flipped and landed gracefully in a crouched position.

'Good morning class,' he said in his deep voice that was only a few steps away from becoming as monotonous as Binns, 'Professor Moody is feeling a bit ill today so I will be taking over the class.' Sasuke surveyed the class with a pair of coal black eyes that made Harry's stomach flip over with uneasiness. The class gulped, after seeing what horrible punishment the teacher had released on Malfoy, the last thing they wanted was for said teacher to have complete control over them.

'As you can see,' he gestured towards Malfoy who had turned an unhealthy shade of white at the sight of his tormenter, 'you are all pinned to your seats. Had I been an enemy, you would all be in pretty bad condition at the moment,' he grinned ominously, 'or even worse... dead.'

The short, four letter word dropped from his mouth and rang a long, clear note of warning. The class froze, petrified into granite. While the class were shell-shocked in their seats, Sasuke took the opportunity to release them when they were too distracted, contemplating his words to notice.

He raised his hands in front of him, crossing his two palms over and the knives began to rise out of their clothes. At first the knives appeared to be moving on their own but a glint of something silver, thinner than a thread caught Harry's eye for a brief second. Then he realized that each and every knife had been attached with an almost invisible wire though he was still amazed at how Professor Uchiha could control so many of them at once with such proficiency. As soon as every knife was free of the students, they seemed to hover, suspended in the air for a moment before Professor Uchiha dropped his hands and the weapons clattered noisily to the floor. 'You magic folk,' began Sasuke, breaking the tension like a hot knife through soft cheese, 'have become too focused on things like the dark arts that you forget more common, basic dangers like rapists, child molesters, assaults, assassinations...'

'How are assassinations considered common?' Seamus asked tentatively, eyeing the knives lying closest to him as if they'd suddenly jump back to life and attack him if he dared to ask a question.

'They happen more than you think, Mr. Finnegan,' Sasuke replied.

'Really?' Seamus said, his eyes lighting up in sudden enthusiasm, 'when was the last time it happened to you, professor?'

There was this one time only about a month ago where an enemy from an opposing village had snuck into my house and attached exploding bombs to all my kitchen devices. Fortunately I often buy my food readily prepared from a shop and did not use my kitchenware that day. Instead one of my fr-acquaintances came over that day because his stove was broken and when he turned on the gas, the entire stove exploded.'

The entire class was goggling at him with wide eyes. 'Did he survive?' Dean asked, urging him to continue.

'Unfortunately,' Sasuke said bitterly, thinking back to the incident. When he had walked into his house only to find that half of it had been reduced to rubble, dust lingered in the air and a blackened Naruto lying in the middle of it. His jaw fell open and there were very few things in the world that could make him do that. Sasuke's first assumption had been that Naruto had stupidly decided to try out a new jutsu in his house and seriously considered leaving him there out of sheer anger for his actions. In the end, Sasuke sent a message to Sakura for help for a few reasons. 1. He needed to move the trash that was his teammate out of the way if he was to begin cleaning up the house, 2. Kakashi would murder him if Naruto died in his house, assuming that _he _had been the one who tried to kill him.

'However, I am not here today to tell you stories about my personal life,' he continued, ignoring the disappointed looks reflected on the faces of many of his students, 'I will tell you my rules that apply for every single teacher and not just myself otherwise you would have to face unwanted... consequences,' again Sasuke's eyes drifted onto Malfoy for a brief second who seemed to have been struck mute since the beginning of the class.

'1. You must always address me as Professor Uchiha or sir at all times, 2. You will never complain because you have to end up doing what I tell you anyway, unless you want to be taught a lesson in respect,' Sasuke's lip curled in sadistic amusement, '3. Wands will not be used against each other in class and if you want to know the consequences then ask Mr. Malfoy.'

Draco seemed to have shrunk smaller and smaller the second Professor Uchiha descended on the classroom. It was obvious that the DADA teacher didn't like him at all, Harry could only see a tuft of platinum blonde hair poking up from behind the desk where he had disappeared behind and the few inches of his forehead that was still visible was flushed a dark pink in humiliation. Professor Uchiha seemed to enjoy the Slytherin's discomfort and his smirk grew steadily wider.

'Today, I will be teaching you one of the most important key points of being in a real life battle situation,' Professor Uchiha, 'this factor is not strength or the number of spells you know. No, the most important weapon you can use against your opponent is through _observation_.' In a second, a stick of chalk was in his hand and he wrote the word on the board in large, neat letters. 'It is through your observations skills that you can exploit an opponent's weakness. No matter how powerful an enemy is, yes even _Voldemort-_,' the entire class immediately fell into panic as he spoke the name, ignoring the sudden turmoil, Professor Uchiha continued, '- has a weakness. No spell or technique is perfect, everything has a weak point and when you strike that point hard, you will win the battle. This can only be applied through good observation skills.'

'Sir,' a snide voice said from the left side of the room that was occupied entirely by Slytherins. Harry turned around and saw the owner of the voice was a square jawed, broad shouldered boy, several times larger than Professor Uchiha and looked quite capable of snapping in half though due to the recent displays of strength that the teacher had shown, Harry was quickly evaluating his opinion. 'If observation is such a useful technique then why is it that no one has ever been able to defeat You-Know-Who one on one with it?'

Sasuke sneered in return, 'Because you are all weak, this entire magical population,' he spoke in a mocking tone that made Harry feel very offended.

'You speak as if you are not a wizard,' Hermione interrupted hotly and Harry admired her courage to stand up to him when her hands were clearly shaking but he rather preferred to have his best friend in one piece rather than sliced up into tiny bits by the knives that Professor Uchiha seemed so fond of.

'That's because I'm not,' Sasuke said, staring right at Hermione who struggled to keep up her brave face.

'Nonsense!' Hermione replied, 'why would Dumbledore hire people with no experience with magic to teach subjects at Hogwarts?'

'Are you talking back to me, Miss Granger?' Professor Uchiha raised his voice; it seemed that, like Professor Hyuuga, he also possessed the mysterious power of knowing everyone's name even without being informed so before hand. Even with his voice raised, his tone was barely louder than a normal speaking voice.

Hermione's eyes widened, 'O-Of course not, sir,' she said quickly.

Professor Uchiha seemed to drop the subject them because he turned away from Hermione, much to her relief. 'We have wasted enough time already, so I will continue with the lesson,' he said, 'observation... class, look at me.'

Really, the command was unnecessary since the entire class was already staring fearfully at him. Harry's own pair of green eyes met with the professor's slanted onyx ones. Then without warning the black rapidly paled into a deep, scarlet red. Harry surprised himself by not yelling out at the sudden change, his body felt heavy as if a lead weight had been placed on his back, pushing his chest closer to the desk which was looking more and more welcoming by the second. Harry would've liked nothing more than to rest his head against it and sleep. Fatigue took over his limbs, his eyes were already half closed. Beside him, the sound of something heavy hitting the surface of the table indicated that Ron had already fallen asleep. Harry's eyes were already half closed and the last thing he saw before the world turned black was a triplet of commas circling hypnotically in the scarlet eyes.

A deep, calm voice managed to squeeze out a sentence, 'Prepare to face your greatest nightmares, brats...' before Harry blacked out.

XxX

Harry felt something cold pressed against his right cheek and he shot up like a bullet, alarm bells ringing in his head as his eyes darted around the classroom. He found that somehow during his sleep, he had shifted to the teacher's desk and had lay slumped against a pile of half marked test papers. The events before he had fallen unconscious were jumbled up in his head in a big confusing mess that danced in all colours of the rainbow. Rubbing his nose, to comfort an upbringing headache, he observed the room through clear eyes for a second time- the students were all still asleep. Harry was the first one awake. Parvati had knocked over a bottle of ink all over her book when she had fallen against the table; Ron was sprawled out on the front desk in a very rough manner, with his legs dangling at the sides and Hermione snoozed peacefully beside him. Neville had actually fallen from his chair and lay with his back on the stone floor, his two legs rested against the side of his chair as they kicked up at the ceiling.

Professor Uchiha was nowhere to be seen. Harry even checked the ceiling and was most glad that he wasn't almost stabbed in the eye by another knife again. 'Professor?' he said cautiously, 'are you there?'

When no one responded, Harry's gaze turned back to Neville who was snoring like there was no tomorrow. Harry sighed and carefully picked his way through the trail of knives, Professor Uchiha had thrown at them until he reached the Gryffindor boy. He grabbed a hold of Neville's arms and hauled him back onto his seat; it was hard work as Neville was easily a lot heavier than him. Taking care to lay Neville's head gently on the table in a comfortable position, Harry turned to poke a nearby Dean Thomas on the neck.

'Dean,' Harry said loudly, 'DEAN!' The boy did not stir so he decided to try Seamus instead. He nudged the boy gently and a second time, this time harder but produced no results. Suddenly the entrance of the classroom burst open with such force that the door snapped clean off its hinges. Clouds of dust erupted from the spot where the door collided with the stone wall and a tall, thin silhouette appeared.

'No...no...it can't be...,' Harry mumbled. A tall man with sickly pale skin stood in the doorway, his black robes were draped across his shoulders, flowing like a curtain down his back and pouring down into a puddle of fabric behind him. A familiar, snake like face that Harry had seen once three years ago, plastered to the back of Quirrell's was glaring back at him with a two slit like red eyes.

'Harry Potter...,' Voldemort hissed quietly, 'to think we would meet again in this wretched school of all places...'

'This can't be real,' Harry muttered, stumbling backwards and in his haste tripped over a stray wire on the ground, landing clumsily on his back. Several knives that lay scattered on the floor pierced the skin on his arms and back but he easily ignored the injuries as fear commanded his entire being. Harry panicked when he realized that he'd left his wand inside his backpack. He didn't dare to look behind him and search for it. There was no way he could reach it in time before Voldemort could shoot a deadly curse at him, or even worse at his defenseless, slumbering classmates.

'I killed you...,' Harry said, climbing back onto his feet, clenching his fists to hide his trembling, 'you're gone! THIS CAN'T BE REAL!' He screamed the last line in desperation.

Voldemort began to advance on him, wand in hand as he laughed in cold amusement at Harry's outburst. 'But it is real, Harry...it is real...'

XxX

The smell of wet earth reached Ron's nostrils as he began to awaken. He slowly sat up, rubbing the damp dirt and bark off his face. 'Where am I?' he mumbled. Ron's memories were strangely groggy and he couldn't really remember anything from before he had woken up. Anything coherent at least. He vaguely remembered going to Defence Against the Dark Arts where the creepy new teacher had stared at him with a pair of strange red eyes but the details eluded him. Ron climbed to his feet, brushing the dirt off his jeans and robes however they still left the annoying damp stain on his robes.

The entire classroom was gone and instead Ron was standing in the middle of what appeared to be a forest only it was too dark for him to see much of it. The air was coated with a thick purplish grey fog that obscured half of his vision. The first emotion that Ron felt was shock which gradually formed into fear. 'Harry?' he whispered into the darkness, 'Harry!'

There was no reply except for the distant hooting of an owl somewhere in the treetops. 'Hermione! Seamus! Dean! Professor! Anyone?' he continued to shout out into the empty, dark forest. Ron's fingers fumbled for his wand but then he remembered that he had left it in his bag. Ron stumbled backwards, panicking as his head turned left and right, eyes slowly adapting to the dark.

A long, fairly thick stick the size of his arm lay at his feet. Ron bent down and seized it. For the time being it could serve as a makeshift weapon. He stumbled forward, not heading in any particular direction, his fear triggering a sense of paranoia, causing him to point his stick at anything that made a noise until he realized that he was jumping at the scuttle of every forest squirrel and the shadow of any funny shaped tree.

Something shuffled behind him, causing Ron to whirl around. This time the sound of leaves crunching was louder than the usual woodland creature and he definitely saw a genuine human shadow there. 'Whose there?' Ron shouted, eyes scanning the shrubs for a sign of the same movement, 'Show yourself!'

The shadow of something roughly the size of a Labrador crawled out from a bush towards Ron's left. It was a child, probably barely scraping the double digits yet. A pair of almond shaped green eyes glared at him under a pair of round spectacles and the mop of dark hair stuck up in a very familiar way at the back of the child's head. 'Harry?' Ron whispered disbelievingly. And indeed, there was no doubt that the child was Harry except the face was a lot rounder and the stick thin body was even skinnier than the Harry Ron remembered.

'Wait!' Ron called as the boy shot him a dirty look and darted past him, running without looking back. Ron hesitated for a few seconds but eventually followed, his legs moving faster than he thought was possible. They seemed to have a mind of their own as they continued to follow the boy long after he had left Ron's range of sight. Eventually Ron reached what seemed to be a small clearing; he spotted the child Harry sitting on one of the larger tree stumps, humming a tune to himself. His back was turned to Ron's direction and his spindly legs swung in a childish manner as he hummed. In the dark, the tune sounded slightly eerie and sent shivers up Ron's spine.

Moonlight reflected off the child Harry's white complexion, casting him into an even paler light. A clicking sound could be heard, approaching rapidly from the other side of the clearing. Somehow there was something about the clicking sound that made Ron's stomach double over. As the sound grew closer, a large, thick hairy leg emerged from the shadows right in front of the child Harry who had ceased humming and was observing the newcomer with a look of innocent curiosity. He slid down from the stump and reached out a tiny white hand to touch the leg of an enormous spider, the size of a carthorse. Ron sunk lower behind the stump as the spider gazed blindly over at his hiding spot, the moonlight reflecting in its milky white eyes.

'No,' Ron muttered, the child's hand was inches away from the spider now. He wanted to run out and pull the child away from the monster but fear petrified his body against the rock, 'Get away from there!'

The child Harry did not hear him, his fist closing around one of the spider's hairy legs. The monster arachnid leapt forward, lifting the tiny child easily up into the air between its two pincers. Harry began screaming, his tiny arms flailing. Seeing his best friend's life in danger triggered something in Ron who dashed forward from his hiding spot, mouth open in a ferocious battle cry, armed with his long, thick branch. The stick struck the spider right on the top of the head, causing him to drop child Harry on the ground heavily. After several well aimed whacks, the spider collapsed on the ground, unconscious.

Ron grabbed child Harry's arm and shook him gently. He had been lying still ever since the spider had dropped him. 'Are you alright?' he said urgently, pulling him away from the body of the monstrous arachnid, 'Are you...Harry?' The child's arm didn't feel right. It was ice cold... too cold for the person to still be alive. Harry's fringe cast a shadow over half of his face as Ron dropped his arm in horror. The child lifted his face exposing a pair of scarlet eyes behind the round, smashed spectacles. A maniacal grin was slowly spreading out onto his face.

'What the-?'

He was cut off as the spider who had gotten back onto its feet while he was distracted shot a thick, hairy leg into his chest, effectively knocking all the air out of his lungs. Its figure was blurring , slowly shrinking smaller and smaller until it gradually descended into the shape of a human.

'No... it can't be,' Ron said as the image refocused onto a familiar, current day Harry who was also rubbing his eyes in confusion. 'Harry?' he whispered as the forest around him rapidly disintegrated.

XxX

Harry's hands closed on one of the knives on the ground and he threw it with all his might at Voldemort. Before the dark wizard to raise his wand too defend himself, the knife had hit him square in the chest, knocking him backwards as blood spurted from the fatal wound.

Panting, Harry leaned over a desk for support. Sweat beaded on his brow as he stumbled over to Voldemort's dead body. Surely, such a powerful dark wizard couldn't have been killed so easily. Harry picked up another knife as he walked, gripping a hand heavily onto each desk as he passed. Voldemort's leg twitched slightly, causing Harry to leap back in alarm, knife at the ready.

Voldemort's form shifted and blurred as if made of static. 'What on earth-?' Harry began as hair began shooting up from the dark wizard's bald head as he sat up, groaning and rubbing his chest. His skin was gaining colour and freckles were beginning to pop up on his face.

'Ron?' Harry said disbelievingly as his best friend climbed awkwardly to his feet.

'No...it can't be...Harry?' Ron said, his face showed as much confusion as Harry felt, 'but... wait... there was this kid who looked like you and he was being attacked by this spider, I mean the spider was you... Gah! This is too confusing!'

'This doesn't make any sense! You were back there sleeping!' Harry said, hands gripping his hair in frustration. He turned around to confirm Ron's sleeping form at the desk and almost had a heart attack.

'Bloody hell,' Ron muttered. The sleeping forms of each student were melting, each of them emerging as a serpent, slithering and sliding together to the teacher's desk. As the snakes reached the front of the classroom, they began sliding together, their scaly bodies slithering over each other, entangling into some sort of tree. The tree of snakes blurred into the form of Professor Uchiha who surveyed them with an amused look.

'Having fun?' he asked conversationally.

'What are you doing to us?' Harry yelled furiously.

Professor Uchiha chuckled at his frustration, his eyes closing while he laughed before reopening them, revealing the same scarlet eyes. 'I think that's enough for today,' he said. Harry felt his limbs slacken and his eyelids drooped.

And once again the world around him turned black.

XxX

'Harry! Ron!'

Harry blinked. His head throbbed painfully as he lifted it from the desk. The light was blinding to his eyes and he felt someone or something tapping him firmly on the shoulder. Alarmed, he shot up like a bullet, almost hitting Hermione on the forehead.

'Harry, you're awake!' Hermione said, looking relieved, 'are you alright?'

Harry rubbed his eyes wearily. A sharp jab of pain shot up his skull, causing him to groan. 'I have the worst headache I've ever had in my life.'

Hermione turned towards Professor Uchiha who was leaning comfortably against his arm, an innocently blank expression plastered on his face. 'What did you do?' she asked angrily.

'I was simply testing each of your capabilities of observation,' he replied as if he hadn't just deliberately scared the living crap out of each of them. 'Is something wrong, Miss Granger?'

'Wrong? Wrong?' Hermione almost yelled, 'what spell did you use! I've never even heard of it!'

'A simple, very flawed illusionary technique,' Professor Uchiha said, 'I must say, Miss Granger- I am quite impressed at how you managed to notice the glitch so quickly... as inexperienced a person as you are.'

Hermione brushed off his praise and opened her mouth to retort but was cut off by a groan that issued from Ron. 'Ron!'

'It's so bright...' Ron moaned.

As Hermione tended to Ron, Harry looked behind him. The entire class was conscious, he and Ron had been the very last of them to awaken. However none of them looked like they were in any state to be speaking anytime soon.

'Well, it seems like class is dismissed for today,' Sasuke said, looking idly up at the clock, 'you may all have an early mark while I go and inform Professor Moody of today's lesson.'

No one moved as Sasuke opened a door behind him to his office and slid through it silently. Even when the door snapped shut, the students did not take advantage of their early mark. Instead they all sat in their seats even minutes after the bell had already gone.

**Well, that was probably the longest chapter I've ever written in this entire story. Couldn't help it though, Sasuke is a character with so much potential in writing HP/Naruto crossovers. Sakura's next with Potions of course. I will add snippets of the tournament here and there but it won't be a main plot. Once I've written every teacher and a chapter dedicated to the poor wizarding teachers in Konoha then this story is as good as over. Sounds good? **

**I've got the favorite Naruto team poll results posted up and a whole new poll set up as well. So everyone go and check it out on my profile. Um... and also, I've noticed that the number of reviewers since I've started the story has gone done. Is my writing quality deteriorating or something? Please, Please be honest...**

**Review! Or I'll unleash a PMSing Sasuke on you all! MUHAHAHAH!**


	6. Ancient Runes with Professor Aburame

**Alright, I know people want me to write Shino and Hinata but I really have no knowledge of the classes. I've decided to dedicate the omakes to them. This one features Shino and Kiba! Please enjoy. For the reviewer who demanded I write the lessons anyway, don't worry my omakes will be about their lessons! I just call them omakes because with my limited knowledge I can't write a very long chapter.**

Omake 1: Translator (ft: Shino and Kiba)

Hermione had generally disliked the teaching habits of the new teachers. She didn't think it was exactly allowed to control students with fear and dish out physical punishments. There was a law somewhere against child abuse though since all the teachers were technically kids themselves, the rule didn't apply. Yay for loopholes.

However, she didn't really know what to make of the new Ancient Runes teacher. He was tall enough compared to the other teachers that not even Ron could call him short. What surprised Hermione was the fact that he decided to wear two jackets. The one he wore on top was a pale green olive colour with a hood that dropped low over the pair of sunglasses that obscured his eyes. The second jacket was darker with a high collar that covered what little of his face that the first jacket and the sunglasses couldn't hide. Even in comparison to muggle clothing, his sense of fashion was unusual. In her head, Hermione stumbled over a few words she could use to describe him but none of them seemed to fit.

If Ron had been in her class, he would've been mumbling the word "creepy" but Hermione wasn't too sure about that. The teacher seemed so silent…so indifferent… OK, so maybe he was a little bit creepy but the word Hermione was looking for was…bland.

Professor Inuzuka had stumbled in with the teacher, much to everyone's distaste. So they were going to have _two_crazy ass teachers torturing them today in one lesson? Hermione shuddered. She wasn't the only one. Thankfully the loud mouthed Professor Inuzuka made up for the other's silence. He'd changed his regular outfit today to a black muscle shirt and leather pants. Hermione could practically feel the drool puddling at the bottom of her feet from every girl in the class gaping.

'Hello everyone!' Kiba sang, waving enthusiastically at the class. 'For those of you who don't know me I am _Professor_Kiba and this is my faithful friend _Professor_Akamaru.' Behind him, the familiar white dog gave several welcoming barks.

'You're our Ancient Runes teacher?' a blushing Ravenclaw girl said all too happily.

'Oh, no, no,' Kiba said quickly, laughing and pointing at his strange companion, '_He_is your new teacher for Ancient Runes.'

Everyone turned their gazes to the mysterious teacher who continued to look quite indifferent with all the newfound attention they were giving him. After five minutes had passed of silence, the birds outside were chirping, Kiba had grown so bored he began inspecting his nails and the teacher _still_showed no intentions to start the lesson and all the students were too afraid to ask.

Finally after ten minutes had passed, Hermione decided that she wasn't going to let some mute weirdo screw up her Ancient Runes grades this year so she raised her hand. 'Excuse me, sir but you didn't introduce yourself.'

The teacher, who seemed to have been gazing at a particular fly that had managed to crawl in through the tiny gap from the open window, turned to give her his full attention. Hermione blushed as he opened his mouth. At least, she thought he opened his mouth because his high collar shifted very slightly.

'…'

Kiba sighed and mumbled something to the teacher. As usual, his companion did not reply so Kiba turned back to the class, 'My name is Professor Aburame.'

'No you're not,' a Hufflepuff girl said, looking confused, 'you're Professor Inuzuka.'

'Can't you tell that I'm translating for him?' Kiba said.

'S-Sorry.'

'..**.**'

'Today we're going over the basics from last year,' Kiba translated in a dejected monotone, 'I hope you all remembered to revise over the holidays.'

'**..**.'

'Can anyone tell me what symbol is used to represent the Rune number for one and why?' Kiba continued. Hermione's arm shot up.

'.**.**.'

'Yes Miss Granger.'

'It's a unicorn because it has one horn,' Hermione answered immediately.

'Wow, how can you understand him?' a Hufflepuff boy called Zachery Price gaped in awe.

'I've known him for years,' Kiba said, shrugging, 'after a while you start to get his lingo.'

'**.**.**.**'

'What was that, oh silent one?' Kiba said, frowning in concentration.

'**.**.**.**'

'Oh... he wants you all to get out your parchment and quills and copy down these runes.'

Professor Aburame's arm twitched very slightly, probably the biggest movement they'd seen from him so far, minus the walking into the room of course. A few black thingies flew out of his sleeve and hovered in front of his face. They hovered for a few moments, creating a gentle buzzing sound like the humming of an insect's wings and then...

More of the black insects flew out.

And they didn't just fly, they _swarmed_out in _hoards._

The entire class, girls and _guys_screamed.

Bugs. Or flies, rather, hundreds of them swarming out of Professor Aburame's sleeves and forming crooked rows of runes in the air.

'.**..**' Shino said above all the commotion. Somehow, being silent he could still bring himself to be heard.

Kiba raised an eyebrow. He must admit that even _he_was a little impressed, 'Calm down everyone!' he barked, throwing a few kunai here and there to surprise some of the more hysterical students into silence, 'Copy everything down, Professor Aburame says, otherwise I will chain you up in my office and clean out my silkworm cage.'

Well, _that_shut everyone up.

**Short and lame, I know! I suck at writing Shino so I decided to pull Kiba in to help. Shino is the hardest character to write for me so I was a bit stuck with this chapter. Next chapter, I swear will be Sakura. I probably won't be updating for a while because I'm going to China for a few weeks! I'm Chinese so if you're Asian, you'll never be able to pick me out from a crowd! I am now officially a Year 11 Senior student so I will be very busy and my updates will be even slower.**

**Anyway, Merry Christmas and to all those Chinese readers, Happy New Year! I hope I'll get off hiatus soon and my new year's resolution is to complete at least one of my current stories. Peace out everyone and don't forget to vote on my poll!**


End file.
